Delish
by When the Moon Met the Sun
Summary: Entry into Food Pair Themes Challenge, created by The Sky's Bouquet. Warning: filled with tragic mishaps, outrageous occurrences, and copious amounts of idiocy. Theme 9: The Big Banana; "We're one big Vexos sundae!"
1. Theme 1: Please

_**Theme One is here. And it involves a tiny, almost nonexistent amount of eating. It had to be done.**_

_**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Bakugan, but alas, I don't.**_

* * *

Tea…Crumpets…Manners

Dan grimaced at the less-than pleased expression on Runo's face as she exited the movie theater. The plan had been to enjoy a nice dinner at a quaint little restaurant on the edge of town followed by a enjoying a relaxing comedy movie at the theater. The whole evening, though, had only gone from bad to worse since he'd picked her up.

Dan blamed it all on his so-called friend Shun, and he recalled the events of the previous night with a scowl.

"Face it, Dan. You can't go on a date with Runo without making her angry," he'd teased while the two of them sat in her restaurant during her shift.

"That sounds like a challenge, Shun, and you know I'm always up for one." Dan had replied with an arrogant grin, clearly believing that what he'd said was humanly possible.

The ninja had only smirked, taking a sip of his iced drink carefully. "If you're so confident, ask her to go out with you tomorrow. I bet you my antique shuriken collection that she'll be livid by the end of the night."

Dan's grin had grown, already picturing the fun he'd have at his friend's expense. "You're on, Shun!"

"But if you lose," he'd continued with carefully concealed smile, "you'll have to take care of my chores at the dojo for a month."

He mentally berated himself now, glancing behind him to see Shun leaving the theater with a beaming Alice. The older boy shot him a smug look before directing the Russian girl down the street, his arm carefully linked with hers.

"Well, are you going to take me home or not?" Runo asked, impatiently tapping her foot.

"Uh, yeah," Dan replied curtly, beginning to walk down the same street Shun had taken. Runo followed two steps behind him, her glares drilling into his back. Upon reaching her house, she stomped inside and slammed the door without one more word to the brunette.

Shrugging, he caught sight of Alice walking around the corner, a bright blush beginning to fade from her cheeks. '_Why does Alice look so happy when Runo looked so…__**un**__happy?'_ he thought to himself, strolling casually up to her.

"Oh, Dan, h-hello," she greeted, raising a hand as if to hide her flushed face.

"How does he do it, Alice?" he blurted out, referring to Shun. "Why, _how_, are you so happy?"

She stared at him in confusion for a moment before her lips slowly formed an 'O' shape as it dawned on her.

"It is because he's a ninja?" Dan continued without giving her a chance to answer. "Or is it the hair?"

"Dan," she cut in firmly. "Shun is just so polite. He's a gentleman, and—"

"I can be a gentleman," he argued, crossing his arms. "Runo just doesn't appreciate it." She quirked a knowing eyebrow and he sighed in defeat. "But it's hard around Runo. She's always been a tomboy."

"Don't worry. I know someone who can help you, and I heard he was in town," she offered, stepping inside the house and returning with a slip of paper. He handed it to him, and he examined the neatly written address on it. While a grateful smile, Dan waved and ran off, planning tomorrow's excursion to his savior's abode.

---

Hesitantly, Dan Kuso approached an extravagant hotel, receiving strange looks from the staff as he entered and was directed toward the appropriate room. Clutching the paper Alice had given him, he wandered around the fifth floor, searching for room 506.

Quickly, he found it and knocked hurriedly. After a few seconds had passed he knocked again, more urgently. He heard shuffling from inside, and the door opened to reveal an elegant, platinum-haired young man with an irritated look on his face.

"Klaus von Hertzen?!" he shouted in shock.

"Yes, Dan, it's me," he answered in a bored tone. "Alice told me of your…predicament, and I hope we'll be able to make some progress today."

Realizing he had nothing to lose, Dan allowed Klaus to lead him into his suite. It was stylishly furnished and had just about every commodity a guy could ask for. Klaus showed him to a table overlooking the city, a plate of warm, buttered crumpets perched in the middle.

"What are these?" Dan asked, reaching for one.

Klaus shook his head to stop him. "Dan, these are crumpets, traditionally served in countries of the Commonwealth, such as the United Kingdom," he explained.

"Oh," was Dan's response and he reached forward for one again.

Klaus gazed sternly at him and his hand retreated. "You'll get one when we do something productive, is that clear?"

Dan nodded glumly, staring back at the crumpets with longing.

"Now," Klaus began. "Since you're having problems with the she-devil—that is to say, Runo—it would be appropriate to mention that the female mind is a complicated one. Women like courteous men, and I dare to assume that you haven't been one."

"I guess you could say that."

"First off, you should always do what she wants to do," he informed matter-of-factly.

"But—" Dan was interrupted by the German.

"There are no exceptions to this rule, Dan. If you follow that, you should be fine."

Dan sighed. "Okay." He paused for a moment. "Hey, Klaus can I have one of those crumpet things now?"

"No, you forgot to say please when inquiring about the food." Klaus replied calmly, helping himself to a crumpet.

Dan groaned. "Can I _please_ have one?"

"May I." Klaus corrected.

He glared, hissing out a '_May I please have a crumpet, Klaus?_' though clenched teeth.

Klaus nodded and allowed him to finally get his hands on one. Dan savored the foreign treat, watching as his host made his way into the kitchen. Dan stretched for another one, taking advantage of Klaus's absence.

"Don't even think about it, Dan," he called out, returning with a tray. He placed it on the table, picking up a teapot on it and pouring liquid into two cups.

"Great!" Dan shouted, grabbing one and downing it. "I was parched."

"That was improper form for tea drinking," Klaus remarked exasperatedly, beginning to demonstrate the proper way to do so. An hour later, Dan was a tea drinking pro, having everything from holding the cup to the pinkie lifting down pat. He eagerly received his reward, munching while Klaus talked.

"Do I hear a 'Thank You'?" Klaus asked, eyeing the Pyrus Brawler warily.

"Thanks, Klaus," he added, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.

"As a last thought, I'd like to remind you to offer to do things for her. Ladies appreciate that. Oh, and give plenty of compliments, understood?"

"Yes, sir," Dan replied jokingly, Klaus showing him out. "Oh, and Klaus?" he called, just as he was closing the door. "Thank you."

---

"May I take your coat?" he asked smoothly as she handed him her jacket, and he placed it on the coat rack.

Dan graciously led Runo to the dining room, where he—well, his mom—had prepared a meal for just the two of them. She giggled as he pulled the chair to his right out for her. He did exactly as Klaus had told him, complimenting and practically offering to be her slave. He even walked her home, holding her hand and strolling at her pace. And the best thing was that Runo didn't get angry.

At all.

Dan was feeling confident enough to make another bet with Shun until they arrived at her doorstep. She shifted uneasily from foot to foot, as if waiting for something to happen. His mouth went dry, and he had a funny feeling in his stomach. Runo leaned in, closing her aquamarine eyes, and Dan instinctively followed her lead.

He felt a tapping on his shoulder, and his eyes shot open, turning around to see his stoic best friend. Runo shrieked when she fell forward, regaining her footing at the last second.

"Dan!" she screamed furiously. '_So much for making another bet_,' he thought dryly, asking Shun what he wanted.

"I just came to say that you should be at the dojo at exactly six AM." He closed his golden eyes for a moment, before adding, "Please."

_**

* * *

**_

Who knew Dan had manners? And **please**_** forgive me for the slight food consumption involved.**_

_**Review!**_

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	2. Theme 2: Lost

_****_

This is one of my entries into the Food Pair Themes Challenge, created by The Sky's Bouquet.

* * *

Mallows…Graham Crackers…Fire

"This camping trip is gonna be awesome. What could go wrong?" Runo imitated Dan's earlier sentiments with irritation.

The bluenette sat on the sandy shore, arms crossed, pointedly glaring at the aforementioned Pyrus Brawler. "It's not like I knew the plane was going to crash," he muttered, keeping his eyes averted so as to not further anger her.

"Guys, we can't blame it all on Dan," Alice mediated, sitting beside her and poised to restrain Runo should the need arise.

"Alice is so right," Julie chimed in with her usual spunk. "I mean, so what if the plane crash-landed? We can totally camp out on this beautiful beach!"

The genius of the group, Marucho, eyed his fallen plane apprehensively. It had been exactly two hours since the event, and he blamed himself in part. He had given Kato, his butler, a much-needed vacation, and after Dan's insistence that camping would help them 'bond,' they'd gone ahead alone. Of course, using the autopilot function, none of them expected any technical difficulties.

With a sigh, the blonde stood up, heading over to the slightly damaged aircraft. "I concur. It would be prudent to make camp as soon as possible," he wisely suggested, beginning to unpack some of their supplies. Alice quickly jumped up to help, and Julie dragged Dan over as well, leaving Runo to sulk.

Her aquamarine eyes stared out into the open ocean, watching as the sun slowly approached the horizon. It calmed her a bit, her mind drifting away from thoughts of physically harming her boyfriend. Soon she joined in on the camp setup, pitching the large tent, hauling out their sleeping bags and various other supplies.

"Hey, shouldn't we build a fire?" Julie asked, clutching Dan's arm and glancing nervously at the dense forest behind the tent. The remaining sunlight failed to penetrate the deep shadows.

"I got it," Dan volunteered, an arrogant grin on his face. If anyone could build a fire, it was him. He made a tepee of dry twigs, lighting a match and tossing it in. It landed on the sand and went out. He tried a few more times, pressing the matches directly against the branches.

Nothing.

The rest of the Brawlers sat around in a circle, observing Dan's pathetic attempts.

"Pyrus Dan can't build a fire?" Runo teased, giggling with Alice and Julie.

"Yes, I can," he retorted lamely, begging Marucho with his eyes to help him out. Between the two of them, they managed to create a small fire. The two boys sat back down in silence. Everyone stared around their circle, except the copper-haired, Russian girl, whose dark eyes were focused on the crescent moon.

"Dan, why didn't you invite Shun?" The silver-haired girl questioned, noticing Alice's far off gaze. She did it for her friend and partly for herself. Someone like the stoic ninja would make her feel more at ease in the wilderness.

"He's gets jealous of Shun," Runo answered, receiving a glare from the brunette. "After all, he's taller, rich, good-looking, smart…pretty much everything Dan isn't, right, Alice?"

She winked at her redheaded friend, who blushed, but didn't deny any of her words.

"No way, Runo!" Dan shouted. "We don't need Shun." He shot up, running into the tent, and returning with a backpack. "Besides, I've got something better than him."

Dan pulled out a bag of marshmallows, handing them to Marucho, and then revealed a package graham crackers.

"I don't know," Julie remarked thoughtfully. "I'm guessing that Shun would be way tastier than those." Then, she sighed dramatically, "Oh, but I'll never find out if we're stuck here forever!"

"It won't be forever, Julie," Alice replied, ignoring her remark about Shun. "In a couple of days Kato will come to look for us."

"Yeah, but he could come tomorrow if Dan hadn't brilliantly suggested we leave all technology behind," Runo commented sarcastically.

Dan rolled his eyes, taking his share of mallows and passing the bag to Alice. "If everyone is done mocking me, how about we tell campfire stories?"

"I would've liked to explore the island, but that seems like a reasonable idea." Marucho spoke up."

He grinned. "No worries, Marucho, there'll be plenty of time tomorrow. This place is probably deserted, anyway."

A muffled crack sounded from the forest. Five heads turned slowly toward it. The fire cast shadows on the trees, not a single object discernible from another. A figure slowly emerged from the woods, and the assembled Brawlers screamed.

Dan, being the dangerous combination of brave and impulsive, leapt to his feet, hurling the box of graham crackers at the body. They heard the impact of shattered crackers, but the figure only stepped closer.

"Stay back! I have marshmallows!" he threatened, tearing the bag out of Alice's surprised hands and also chucking it, since marshmallows would obviously cause more damage than graham crackers.

Catching the bag, the figure leaped out of the forest and asked incredulously, "Dan?"

Shun's wide amber eyes examined the scene, taking in Dan, Runo, Julie, Marucho, and Alice camping out on his property.

"Shun?!" Julie cried hysterically, launching herself at the ninja. He carefully pried her arms off him and raised an eyebrow.

"You've found us, Shun!" Marucho and Runo cheered, while Alice bit her lip in realization.

"What gives, Shun?" Dan inquired forcefully, his arms crossed. "How the heck did you know we were here?"

"I live here, Dan," he replied slowly, as if to make sure he understood. "I don't know what happened, but if you had walked about a half mile that way"—he pointed to the left—"you would have found a path leading straight to the gates of my dojo."

"Oh, yeah, real deserted, Dan," the brawlers mocked dryly with glares aimed at him.

Shun calmly tossed the bag of sweets back at his childhood friend. "By the way," he began, sitting down next to Alice, "those didn't even hurt."

_**

* * *

**_

I'm not sure what my feelings are on this one because I kind of liked the way it turned out, but then again, I kind of didn't. This may not be what she had in mind, but hopefully it was funny enough.

_**Reviews are appreciated!**_

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	3. Theme 3: Stille Nacht

_**Woo-hoo! A Christmas fic in time for the holidays!**_

**_The title is German for Silent Night. Did you guys know it was a German song first? I didn't._**

_**Disclaimer: I make no claim to Bakugan, or Clement Clark Moore's "Twas the Night Before Christmas" or The Nightmare Before Christmas.**_

_**Pretend the italics are read in a deep, booming voice, kind of like Drago's!**_

* * *

Candy Hearts, Candy Corn, Christmas...

_**Twas the night before Weinachten, when all through the house  
All the creatures were stirring, especially Klaus.  
The Brawlers were gathered around the chimney with care,  
In hopes that Julie would stop messing with their hair.**_

"Hydranoid, I already told you. The eggnog isn't for you," Klaus explained tiredly, asking a butler to take the eggnog to the adults in the next room over.

"But it's so thick and creamy!" he exclaimed, drawing a giggle from Alice. Who knew that Bakugan had an affinity for alcohol?

"Better take it easy, Hydra! We have to stay up _all _night to wait for Santy Klaus," Preyas advised, sipping the nonalcoholic beverage.

"Preyas, it is Santa Claus," Marucho corrected.

_**  
The Brawlers were nestled all snug in their sleeping bags,  
With visions of presents that still had their tags.  
Alice in her nightgown and Baron in his cap,  
Had just finished rescuing Ace from his sleeping bag trap.**_

"What is this Wine-acting of which you speak?" asked Percival, escaping from Ace's grasp onto the carpet in front of the brightly decorated Christmas tree.

"It's German for Christmas," Dan explained, eating a cookie. "Apparently, Christmas isn't good enough for Klaus."

"Be nice, Dan. Klaus invited us into his home so we could all spend Christm–I mean, _Weinachten_, together," Alice reminded, braiding Runo's hair.

"But what's the point of this holiday?" Mira asked, sipping her drink.

_**When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,  
Klaus sprang from his chair to see what was the matter.  
In from the window he flew like a flash,  
He tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.**_

Julie, quick as lightening, tore off a candy heart and popcorn garland off the tree. Pullling an Indiana Jones, she lassoed the intruder and hog tied it.

"Guys, I think I just caught a monster!" she screeched, either with joy or fright. Klaus quickly closed the window, ordering replacement drapes to be brought in.

"Julie, it's me!" Shun shouted, shaking off his Scream mask.

"Shun, why are you dressed in a Halloween costume?" Runo asked with irritation.

He untangled himself, noticing that everyone else was in pajamas. "What? I got an email from Dan stating that Klaus was hosting a costume Christmas party."

"I'm sorry, but this isn't one of those barbaric gatherings," Klaus replied regally.

"Dan!"

The Pyrus Brawler hid behind Baron. "I didn't think you'd actually dress up!"

No one noticed that they hadn't answered Mira's question.

_**The fire of the chimney made their faces glow  
As Mira's curiosity began to grow.  
When, what to Shun's wondering eyes should appear,  
But Dan eating all the cookies and eggnog near.**_

"Guys, you never answered my question," Mira pointed out.

"You had a question?" Shun asked.

Dan sighed, already having explained the mechanics of Christmas to Baron. "Well, once every year our parents buy us presents because they love us–or in Shun's case, my parents buy him presents since he doesn't have any parents."

"We forget about all the troubles in the world so we can pretend that peace and happiness are attainable concepts if only for one day," Shun added gloomily, sitting down as well.

"It's not all bad, Shun," Runo remarked. "We eat cake."

"What kind of cake?" Ace ventured to ask.

"Christmas cake," Julie spat acerbically.

"Fascinating," Mira marveled.

_**  
They told her of a driver, so lively and quick,  
Klaus called him Christkindl, the others St Nick.  
But Shun didn't catch on to the Christmas vibe,  
In his costume he grumbled, upset with Dan's gibe.**_

"I much prefer Halloween," Shun announced, munching on a cookie. "The frights, the costumes, the candy corn, the frights."

"If you cannot appreciate the holiday cheer, then perhaps you should not be here," Klaus suggested mildly.

"You're right, Shun," Dan agreed. "Christmas is all about getting things from people you know, and sometimes you don't even know what to get them! On Halloween, _strangers _give you candy because they know that's exactly what everyone wants."

"What about getting together and enjoying each other's company?" Alice questioned.

"That is so old school!" Preyas shouted. "I like the idea of scaring people. Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange?"

Shun stood up, his dark outfit billowing around him. "Come on guys, and you will see, the joys of a Halloween."

"This should be Halloween. This should be Halloween! Pumpkins should scream in the dead of night!"

**_"Now Runo! Now, Alice! Now, Mira and Julie!  
On, Klaus! On, Baron! On, on Ace and Billy!"  
Dan jumped in, too, throwing candy hearts at the wall!  
He pulled out candy corn and offered them to all._**

"This should be Halloween. Everybody make a scene! Trick or treat instead all night. It's better. Everybody scream! Let's celebrate Halloween," Dan chanted, tossing candy corn through the air.

"Why would we want someone hiding under our bed with teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red?" Julie inquired cheekily.

"Why would we want someone hiding under our stairs with fingers like snakes and spiders for hair?" Mira repeated Julie's earlier sentiments. Were all earth holidays so...pointless?

"Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!" the three of them echoed. "In this holiday we all love, everybody hail to the pumpkin song!"

"I enjoy waiting for the next surprise," Ace mused aloud.

_**As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.  
So up through the mansion those boys flew,  
With the head full of scares, and St Nicholas too.**_

"If that's how they want to be," Klaus reflected with a dark undertone. "Let them round that corner, with a butler hiding behind the statue. Something's waiting to pounce, and how they'll..."

"Scream! Aren't you scared?" Dan whispered in Runo's ear.

"Please," she muttered with a roll of her eyes. "I'm not, but that's fine, take your chance and roll the dice, buster."

"Come on, life's no fun without a good scare, Runo," Dan whined, plopping down with a huff.  
_**  
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  
Each stifled a gasp as they turned around,  
Down the chimney Kris Kringle came with a bound.**_

"Ho ho ho, merry Weinachten!" the red-clad fellow shouted.

"Hey, Santa, that's offensive," Julie pointed out.

"Let's stop him from saying ho, ho, ho ever again," Shun proposed, getting into his ninja stance.

_**He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.  
A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,  
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.**_

_**  
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!  
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow. **_

_**The ghost of a smirk played on his lips,  
The fire had gone out and a breeze blew in crisp.  
He had a slim face and a little round belly  
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!**_

_**He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,  
and Alice laughed when she saw him in spite of herself!  
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon gave them to know they had nothing to dread.**_

_**  
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.  
And laying his finger aside of his nose,  
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose! **_

_**The group did not notice that Klaus reappeared,  
But oh, how they wondered how the figure adhered  
to that part of the legend, the descent to the tree,  
Though that didn't stop them from squealing with glee.**_

_**They sprang on the gifts, Klaus to his team gave a whistle,**_

_**And Halloween thoughts flew away like the down of a thistle.  
But they heard him exclaim, giving a final fright,  
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a go–Hydranoid!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

Maybe this one wasn't as great as I thought it was. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it, though! Review!

_**Cocoacharm15**_

_**Happy holidays!**_


	4. Theme 4: The Cold War

_**This one is mostly about friendship, and I find it funny. Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: CC15 does not own Bakugan, but I can dream, can't I?**_

* * *

Oreos…Milk…Bowl

_The predator stalked through his domain, slinking through the shadows. They bent and molded to his figure, keeping him well-hidden from the target. His heavy breathing permeated the still atmosphere. _

Nothing else mattered right now. It was just him and his prey. His comrades had fallen to them, and he was out for revenge. He licked his lips in anticipation. He was parched, but no water would quench his thirst.

What he hungered for was not something obtained easily. It was rare, salty. Revenge, though, would flavor it sickly sweet.

This predator thirsted for the cold blood of his enemy.

He saw them in the distance, weak and defenseless. They would be easy pickings once he was within reach.

He slid forward, crouching and beckoning his remaining partner forward. They were the only two of their kind left, and it was up to them to avenge all that they'd lost. His collaborator's eyes burned with vivid anger.

They closed in within hearing distance.

Inching forward, they bit their tongues to hold in their eagerness for…er…revenge.

Just a little closer, his arm reached out greedily. Closer…and—

"Daniel!" his mother shouted from upstairs. "Have you and Shun finished your baby carrots and celery sticks?" He withdrew his hand from the prize like lightning, glancing with frustration at Shun.

"Yes!" the five-year old brunette called back to his mother, disdainfully eyeing the plate of vegetables that sat on the counter.

"Throw them away," Shun whispered to him, not wanting to have Mrs. Kuso's fury rain down on them.

Dan's maroon eyes brightened, and he nodded at his friend. As quietly as possible, young Daniel's stubby arms reached up and grabbed the offensive foods, promptly disposing of them in the trash bin. Shun grinned, his golden eyes twinkling mischievously as he set them on the package they'd been coming for.

The blue packaging crackled in Shun's hands, and his eyes flickered from side to side, searching for any sign of Dan's mother. After a moment, they giggled, hearing the television upstairs beginning a series of yoga workouts. The two boys didn't understand why Mrs. Kuso liked twisting herself into funny shapes, but right now, they had better things in mind.

Like the package of unopened delicious chocolate sandwich cookies.

Dan scrambled up the cabinets in the kitchen, picking out two cobalt bowls and lowering them to his partner in crime.

"Don't forget the cups, Dan," the older boy reminded, wanting to get him down as soon as possible in case his mom walked in.

"Got 'em." The brunette tossed down two clear plastic cups, and Shun scrambled to catch them. Sharing a knowing look, the two youngsters set about their game.

The rowdy boys tore open the package, mouthwatering at the sight of the scrumptious cookies. Screw listening to their mother and eating healthy, there were more appetizing fish in the sea.

Shun's small hands meticulously lined up the cookies on the table, standing them on their side until the plastic package was empty. Dan heaved a gallon of milk out of the fridge and slammed it down, setting the two cups beside it.

Shun filled the cups to brim with ice cold milk. Giggling again, they each grabbed a bowl and raced to the living room, abandoning their milk and Oreos. Dan placed the bowl on his head, and Shun mimicked his action, both their expressions proud and defiant.

"Ready, Sergeant Shun?" Dan asked, adjusting his makeshift helmet.

"Ready, Master Sergeant Dan!" he replied, a tiny bit miffed that he couldn't have the higher rank. Well, it was Dan's house. Next time, he would be the Master Sergeant, he thought to himself.

At the moment, however, it was time to do what little boys do best: make war.

They dropped onto their stomachs, trying to mask the grins on their faces with semi-serious scowls and failing horribly. Army crawling across the room, they reached the icy tile of the kitchen, shivering but continuing to make their way toward the opposing "army."

Yes, the cookies happened to be that force.

"The enemy is in sight, Master Sergeant," Shun informed, crawling ahead to protect his leader.

"Take them out, soldier," he commanded, joining his Shun by the side of the table. They peeked over the edge, seeing the yummy cookies just asking to be devou—defeated.

"Okay, Sergeant, make them pay!"

Shun obeyed, picking one "soldier" up and dumping him into the milk.

Dan laughed evilly. Well, he laughed as evilly as a five-year-old could. "Into the acid with you!"

The milk/acid burned through the cookies, dissolving them slowly. The boys high-fived, already tasting the sweetness of the treats on their tongues when they fished them out.

"Danny? Shun, dear?" asked from the doorway, sternly staring at the two boys shuffling uncomfortably. "How many times have I told you boys that—"

"Good boys don't lie," Dan finished, guilt eating at his little heart.

"—good boys always share," she finished with a smile. Shun and Dan cheered, offering their bowls to Mrs. Kuso. She took one and placed it on her head with a flourish.

Good thing they _didn't_ eat their vegetables.

_**

* * *

**_

Please ignore that final message, kiddies! Eat your vegetables. They're good for you…just like reviewing!

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	5. Theme 5: The Bears and The Bees

**_A new chapter up, a bit shorter than most of the ones here. Hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

The Bears and the Bees

Theme Five: Honey, Apples, Spoons

In her entire life, Julie Makimoto never once missed a reunion between family, friends, or even coworkers. She was a social butterfly in every sense of the word, so when she received an invitation from Marucho to attend his fancy shindig…well, how could she refuse?

In fact, she arrived at his party fashionably late with her long hair in waves and dressed in a swanky new dress she bought—a little number meant to impress the pants off of Billy and maybe even pick up a few phone numbers on the way. She saw her current lady friends, Runo and Alice, as well as Mira, who was quickly becoming her go-to gal for advice on boys.

Julie saw Danny looking pretty smug in his black tuxedo, a look replicated by all the men in the room. She didn't regret admitting to Shun that he looked the most devastating in his black garb which accentuated his light skin and golden eyes. Predictably, he merely rolled his eyes at her hormones, and asked her if Billy was alright with her flirting with every male in sight. She replied that indeed he was, if only because _he_ was flirting with every female in sight.

Still, she couldn't help but wonder where Marucho, the host, had holed himself away. She'd seen every member of every team Danny had ever been on, _except_ little Marucho. Despite her better judgment, she started to worry. What if something had gone horribly wrong while he was making himself presentable? A cologne fire, a shower drowning, a box falling onto him from the top of his closet—anything could happen! She'd always seen the little one like a brother, albeit a geeky one.

At last, however, her fears were alleviated when she saw him descending down his grand staircase in an impeccable dark suit. All was right in this reunion.

"Some gathering, is it not?" Klaus von Hertzen asked her, coming up to her as she stood by the refreshment stand.

"Of course!" she gushed, stepping a little closer to the young heir. A little flirting couldn't hurt. "Marucho always knows how to throw parties. He's got great taste and everyone likes him, so things can never get weird around him."

He smiled elegantly. "My thoughts exactly. I'm slightly curious as to what meal he has planned for tonight, however. He refused to answer my inquiries, and I truly hope I can enjoy it." At Julie's perplexed expression, he elaborated. "I'm lactose intolerant, you see."

She giggled. "Oh, yes, I understand! I totally know what that's like because Daisy is soooo—"

Klaus, sensing a long-winded story, quickly interrupted her in his most intrigued voice. "Ah, one moment. I haven't acknowledged my dearest friend Shun just yet. I'm afraid I'll have to greet him at once. You understand, of course. Formalities and all."

She nodded eagerly, waving goodbye and going to meet up with her girlfriends. Before she even had the chance to join in their conversation about whether Dan looked better in his suit than Ace or Shun—definitely, Shun, she thought—Marucho announced that the appetizers were being brought out to the refreshment table and that the main course would be served in merely half an hour.

Trays of apple slices upon apple slices were set on the white-covered tables, little china dishes filled with fresh honey arranged in a circle around them. At the very end of the table, napkin lined baskets containing spoons were settled.

In a room full of sophisticated people who wouldn't want to risk getting honey on their fingers, utensils, particularly forks, would have been very useful, and the snack would have gone over well. In a room full of battle-hardened teenagers, the appetizer was just a disaster in the making. Marucho either didn't realize this, or he simply considered his friends to be better people than they actually were.

Either way, the outcome would not be pretty.

"What on earth are these spoons for?" Baron asked out loud, trying unsuccessfully to fish out his apple slice from the honey bowl of death. "Why can't we use forks?"

Marucho, overhearing the commotion, quickly made his way over to his friends. "What? I thought I ordered forks for tonight!"

"My apologies, Master Marucho," a random butler cut in, handing the boy his own honey, apples and spoon. "Unfortunately, the forks were accidentally taken to the furnace room after they were dropped into the trash chute."

"What?" The young millionaire glanced around the room, eyeing the looks of concentration as everyone tried to make the spoons work with the honey. So far, so good. He shared a look with Baron. "At least it can't get any worse, right, Baron?"

"You said it, Master Marucho!"

But of course, it could.

Klaus proved it.

"Marucho, I demand a refund for this night!" he exclaimed, stomping over to the blonde. Julie, attracted by the commotion, dragged her girls to the scene. Klaus had not forgone his usual puffy sleeves for the night, which meant that he had inadvertently dipped them into the honey while reaching for an apple.

"But I haven't asked for any money, Klaus," Marucho sighed. "Have you tried just using a napkin?"

The older millionaire raised an eyebrow and his other sleeve. Three napkins were stuck to it. "Clearly."

"Well, have you tried just not wearing puffy sleeves?"

Klaus made a little choking noise in his throat and jumped back like Marucho was the plague. "…How dare you?"

Klaus, though, wasn't the only one. "Marucho!" Ace snapped. "What on Vestal were you thinking?"

"Let me guess. Your sleeves?" Runo asked with an eye roll.

"Yes, _my sleeves_," he mimicked angrily. "You've ruined my look and now Mira won't—"

The Darkus Brawler shut his mouth abruptly, seeing Mira staring expectantly at him. "I won't what, Ace?"

The nervous flush took over his face. "Um…what I meant is that…you won't…want to have a brawl! Yeah, that's it!"

Runo and Mira exchanged disbelieving looks. "Well, okay, then…"

"Marucho, I command that you tell me what is going on with these appetizers this instant," Spectra remarked regally, sounding more and more annoyed by the minute.

"But your sleeves look just fine," Marucho protested, staring up at the tall Pyrus user.

Spectra snorted. "Yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine. Gus, however…" he snapped his fingers and the blue haired assistant moved forward. There didn't appear to be anything wrong with him, but Spectra made a sound of disgust, adding in a pained voice, "His _hair_."

Curious, Marucho walked around Gus and found matted clumps of hair, sticky with honey. "How did this happen?" he asked, aghast.

Gus groaned. "Well, one of your glorious butlers ran into me carrying a tray of honey," he spat.

"I dearly hope this isn't your idea of a party," Spectra remarked dryly.

Embarrassed that so much had gone wrong, Marucho hurried to clarify that the problem would be solved in no time. "Kato," the boy begged. "Please show everyone to a powder room."

The loyal servant nodded, but before he could proceed to show the crew to the restroom, Dan intervened. In his rush to get to Marucho and be in the commotion, he slipped over a sticky apple slice, pushing him right into a butler carrying a tray of honey. The butler then ran into the refreshment table and knocked over the entire apple configuration. Apples rained out onto the assembled crowd, honey spilled onto the carpeting, and spoons tumbled across the floor. Guests closest to the mess were sticky at once, and as they backed up, they stuck to whoever was behind them.

In a matter of five minutes, everyone in attendance was sticky, gross, and thoroughly upset.

"My hair!" Julie shrieked, turning to Dan in a flash. "You, Daniel Kuso, are sooo going to pay!"

Faced with the disapproving stares of his friends, he chuckled nervously. "Well, it looks like this is…_a sticky situation_!"

Marucho, proud that the crisis wasn't being blamed on him anymore, volunteered some advice to Dan. "Um, Dan? I think you should probably run."

"Got it." He dashed off down the nearest hallway as fast as his sticky shoes could take him.

"All in favor of viciously disfiguring Daniel, say I," Spectra suggested.

A unanimous 'I' sounded across the room.

Julie was _so_ not coming to a reunion _ever_ again.

* * *

**_Remember to tell me what you think in a review! (You know you want to!)_**

**_Cocoacharm15_**


	6. Theme 6: Chicken Soup

_**Here is yet another chapter involving food. This one is...different–yeah, that's the word for–than other things I've written, and features a cameo by the one and only Masquerade!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Bakugan...wait let me check...no, no I don't. Oh, AND the part of the following is quoted from iCarly.**_

* * *

**Chicken Soup For the Brawler's Soul**

_Soup, Noodles, Chicken Pox..._

Dan stared down his adversary across the field with the steely determination of a three-year-old. His eyes would drift from his opponent every few seconds, since his mind just lacked the incentive to keep him focused. Every so often he would rub at his eyes and blink rapidly, trying to keep the usual fire in his gaze.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

The blonde individual in front of him went blurry all of a sudden, but came back into focus when Dan shook his head. Then he was horizontal, and Dan hit the grassy slope with a muffled thud. He let his eyes shut. Drago rolled off of his human partner, looking to the other Brawler for help.

A well-aimed jab startled Dan out of this fitful thirty-second nap. The pointy boot poked his side again as a masked face came into his line of vision. If his mask hadn't been obstructing ninety percent of his face, Dan would have seen the way Masquerade raised an eyebrow and stared at him in disbelief.

But, seeing as Dan had no way of knowing, he assumed Masquerade just liked to stare at him.

"Dan Kuso, are you ready for this brawl?" Masquerade asked impatiently, while Dan closed his eyes again to keep out the glare of the sun. "You look–let's see, how do I put this?–dead."

Masquerade poked him again, earning a groan from Dan.

"He hasn't been sleeping well," Drago offered, though that about summed up all he knew.

"But we've been waiting weeks for this rematch!" One of Hydranoid's heads exclaimed in a raspy voice.

The brunette groaned again. "Drago's right. I barely slept last night. I kept having my dream over and over again."

Masquerade sat down next to him, vaguely interested in a force that could keep Daniel Kuso from a brawl. He himself was disappointed that there would be no brawling. Brawling–especially with Dan–was the only thing he looked forward to. Well, that and the occasional argument with a certain bluenette.

For that reason, and that reason alone, he felt compelled to ask, albeit disinterestedly, "What dream?"

"The one I always have, where a monster eats my chicken noodle soup," Dan answered, frustrated and eyes still closed.

"That's strange. It's a good thing I don't have dreams." Masquerade announced haughtily, realizing belatedly how empty it sounded. Of course he had dreams–one day he hoped to be a dancer in New York–but he didn't dream in the sense of sleep. In fact, he didn't sleep at all, and he didn't suffer any adverse side effects. He could argue that because of it, he was more handsome and just plain better at everything than everyone else.

"Lucky." Dan muttered before adding woefully, "I wish it could just stop."

Masquerade remained silent, considering the fact that if Dan continued to have these dreams he would never get to brawl with him. Ever. But, though he wouldn't admit it, he was a tiny bit curious as to the whole phenomenon of dreams. It wasn't like Masquerade had anything more important to do anyway, so he silently committed himself to helping the troubled Pyrus Brawler.

"All we have to do is figure out why you keep having that dream," the Darkus Brawler thought aloud. "But to figure out why, first we have to determine what your dream means." Dan sat up, skepticism written all over his face. Drago, however, voiced his thoughts will ill-concealed incredulity.

"You're going to help him?"

Masquerade shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, why not? What are worst enemies for?" "Masquerade can solve all you problems," hissed one of Hydranoid's heads in an eerily ominous tone.

"So what do you say, Dan Kuso?" Masquerade asked, standing up regally.

Dan considered his proposition for all of two seconds, before he shook his head and lay back down, folding his arms behind his head. "Nah, I don't believe in that psycho-babble junk."

Masquerade sighed uncharacteristically. "Why not?"

"Because my dad went to a psychologist last year, and she told him that he needed to give other desserts a chance. He let her introduce him to cake, and then he spent a week in the hospital due to food poisoning."

Masquerade scoffed, explaining arrogantly, "That has nothing to do with what I had in mind. She was clearly practicing medicine without a license. However, _I_ can really help you."

Dan sighed, too tired to argue. He just wanted to sleep. "Fine. Do it."

"Excellent choice," the blonde approved with a smirk and by taking a seat again. "According to my research"–by research he meant _according to his own thoughts_–"recurring dreams are usually based on something that happened in your childhood."

"Okay."

"So, when you were a child...did a monster ever...eat your chicken noodle soup?"

Dan opened his eyes to glare pointedly at him, and with that he stood up and dragged himself home.

---

Dan suffered through three more sleepless nights, and he didn't see Masquerade for three more days. On the fourth, a note appeared on his bedside table, but there was nothing written on it. The only distinguishing feature was a light blue watermark, and Dan vaguely remembered the note as one Masquerade had used before. It wasn't until Drago pointed out that it was an open invitation that Dan contacted the masked Brawler and inquired about his services.

Moments later, Masquerade had forced Dan down onto his living room couch with that ever-present smirk and settled himself onto a chair he'd pulled up. A clipboard materialized in his gloved hand, as did a pencil.

"Alright, Mr. Kuso," he began lightly, "Today we're gonna probe your mind. We're going to delve deep into your inner psyche and find the cognitive dysfunction."

Dan grimaced. "Will it hurt?"

Masquerade shrugged. "If we're lucky, it will. Now, I'll say a word, and you say the first thing that pops into your brain–"

"Loin tips!"

He glared from behind the mask. "Wait until I give you the first word, Dan. Are you ready?"

"Sure."

"Monster," he read from his list.

"Soup," Dan answered emotionlessly.

"Soup."

"Monster."

"Ate."

"Soup."

Masquerade looked down at his list. This wasn't how he planned it would go. In all the human movies he'd watched the patient would tell the doctor something he didn't already know. He decided to switch tactics.

"Food." Masquerade offered.

"Hungry." Dan replied obviously.

"Lunch."

"Sure."

"Ribs."

"Absolutely."

"Now?"

"Let's."

---

Two procedures down and Masquerade had made zero progress with Daniel's problem. The brawl of the century had been delayed an additional week, and at that rate, it would continue to be delayed until Dan slept well. It looked like it had come down to desperate measures, but Masquerade felt that his next method was sure to work or at the very least, it would be more enjoyable than the previous ones.

"Is this supposed to help him?" Hydranoid asked, jumping on top of the box Masquerade had brought in.

"Yes. I personally have tried this many times, and it does not fail. This will scare the dream right out of his system."

"What if it backfires?"

Masquerade leaned down to his Bakugan's level, looking him straight in the eye. "It won't."

---

Dan walked into his house, ready to collapse. He'd tried to get some energy pumping, but it hadn't worked out like he'd planned. Just as he was about to faint on the spot, he noticed how quiet it was. Wasn't it yoga hour about now?

"Mom?"

Dan wandered into the kitchen, hoping to catch his dad during his pudding break. He didn't find his dad, but he did catch sight of the note on the table. A note with elegant script propped up against a bowl of steamy chicken noodle soup.

"Dan," he read, picking it up gingerly. "I made you some soup. Enjoy." He sniffed it experimentally, wishing he could whiff out poison. Assuming it was his mother who had made the soup, he tossed it over his shoulder and sat down at the table. "Well, don't mind if I do enjoy, Mr. Note."

Dan picked up the spoon, getting ready to put it to his lips and feel the warm broth trickle down his throat. A gut-churning roar echoed through the kitchen, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Slowly, he turned around meeting the flaming red eyes of a giant horned beast with patches of hair and sickly green goo dripping from its fingertips. It roared again, and Dan froze in his tracks. His breathing accelerated, his pupils dilated, he felt himself pale.

It was as if somebody had hit the auto-focus button on a camera. Everything became so much clearer to him. He could see the glint of metal in the fiend's gaze, and he could smell the putrid stench emanating from it. He could see the slightest twitch of a muscle, and react accordingly. The monster closed in on him with a vicious growl, but instead of running, Dan's adrenaline-filled pushed him into facing the creature head on.

Strength coursed through his veins as he attacked the beast again and again, not stopping to catch his breath for fear that he might retaliate. The monster, in turn, tried to protect himself from Dan's blows but to no avail. Dan moved in to finish off his attacker when suddenly the monster's head detached and Masquerade's signature blonde locks appeared.

"It's me, Dan! Masquerade! Don't kill me! I'm not ready!" shouted the masked Brawler while he tried to pry the other boy off of him.

Dan relented, asking breathlessly, "Masquerade? What...what are you doing?"

"Bleeding internally," he groaned, lying face up on the cold tile of Dan's kitchen.

"Why are you dressed up like a monster?"

Masquerade closed his eyes, just picturing the way Hydranoid would gloat about his plan exploding right in his face. He'd figured a good scare would do Dan well, even if it didn't cure him, but it never occurred to him that Dan might attack him. The Pyrus Brawler hadn't shown signs of aggression before, and yet here he was, lying on the floor, beaten and broken.

"Since we couldn't figure out what your dream means...I thought you should confront it, conquer it–since you seem so keen about hand to hand combat–and then you'd stop having it, but instead, you bruised my internal organs."

Dan stood up, his breathing returning to normal. He allowed himself a smirk. "Sorry, but you know what? I think I do feel better."

Masquerade watched Dan sit back down at the table and prepare to eat his chicken noodle soup.

"I _don't_," he hissed.

---

Several agonizing days later, Masquerade decided to rethink his strategy. Obviously, the monster idea wasn't one of his best plans as Hydranoid had so mockingly pointed out. Dan couldn't care less–he was easily appeased by soup–and suggested they get together to brainstorm, and Masquerade, itching for that brawl, willingly agreed. That's how he found himself in Dan's living room again, lounging on the couch while the television droned in the background.

Masquerade waited impatiently for Dan to say something, since it _had_ been his idea, but instead he caught himself wondering why he hadn't seen any of Dan's "friends" around.

"Dan, why am I the only one helping you? Whatever happened to the other Brawlers?"

Dan's brow creased in thought. "Well, I'd rather not talk to the girls, Marucho is on vacation, and Shun got chicken pox and won't let me come visit."

"Since when do you take no for an answer?" Masquerade asked, only really listening to that part of Dan's sentence. "Those dreams must be affecting you more than I first assumed."

Dan glared. "Hey! Well, it's not like I have an excuse to go over there. The only reason you visit sick people is to make them soup or to bring them medicine."

"...Why don't you do that?"

"His grandpa doesn't believe in the healing power of modern medicine. He says he prefers traditional cures. Shun hasn't gotten better yet, though, and the only soup he's ever eaten is the soup my mom makes, which–"

Dan trailed off quietly and stared for a moment while Masquerade gave him another strange look which he couldn't see. The brunette was far too involved in his own thoughts to notice, however, as visions flashed in his mind's eye at breakneck speed.

He and Shun playing in the park.

Going back to his house for a snack.

Having his mom make them soup.

Being pushed out of his chair.

Shun taking his seat.

Shun eating Dan's soup.

Shun eating his soup.

Shun eating _his _soup.

"I know," he whispered. And oh, did he know.

---

"_Oh, look some soup," Shun remarked to himself, noticing the large bowl of chicken noodle soup and sitting at the table. His kitchen seemed empty and dark, but it didn't occur to him to question just where the heck his grandpa was or why such a delectable food was sitting all alone._

_He sat down, picking up the stainless steel spoon next to bowl and dipping it into the broth. Vague memories of soup-filled days drifted into his mind, days with fun, sun, and soup nirvana. _

_He paused momentarily, but he allowed himself to bring the spoon to his lips._

_Just then, everything happened so quickly. There was a ear-splitting bellow, a fetid odor permeating the flawless kitchen, and a pair of hands knocking him off the chair. He crashed to the floor, a bundle of flailing arms and limbs, looking up in time to see a creature more hideous than anything his grandpa had scared him with holding his spoon and scarfing down his soup._

"_Stop it! Stop eating my soup!" he shouted, paralyzed with fear on the cold floor. The monster did not stop, however, merely continuing his task. Shun's labored breathing let one last sentence out. "You're a monster!"_

_The monster turned to him, roaring again while Shun screamed._

_Shun shot up from the couch, breathing intensely, trying to steady himself. He looked around the room, seeing no signs of soup or a monster, and he realized with relief that he'd been having a nightmare. "Oh, it was just a dream." He turned on his side, preparing to sleep again when he saw the monster licking a spoon, a bowl on his lap. "No!"_

"Shun, wake up! Wake up! Wake up, Shun!" Dan chanted, nudging the ninja with his hand.

The raven-haired boy sat up suddenly, eyes quickly scanning his room, before exhaling shakily and bringing a hand to his face. "I'm sweating."

"Yeah, it must be the chicken pox."

"What are you doing here, Dan?" he asked groggily, clearing his throat afterward.

"Brining you soup, silly. You're not gonna feel better soon without soup. Oh, and I forgot to mention I had chicken pox ages go, so you won't get me sick."

"Oh, thank you, Dan. That's...nice of you," he replied, finding it a little weird to have Dan bringing _him_ food. Dan walked over to hand the bowl of soup to him nonetheless, and Shun outstretched his hands to receive it. At the last moment, however, Dan took the bowl back and slurped it up himself.

"Dan, what the heck?" he shouted, outraged and getting the urge to itch one of the blisters.

"What?" he asked innocently. "Here," he handed him the empty bowl, "I'll get you some more."

Shun was starting to think that Dan was playing him, but soon enough, the brunette returned with another bowl.

"Here." He walked across the room, almost handing it to him, but tripping at the last moment. The hot soup spilled all over the sick boy, and said boy yelped in surprise and partly in pain.

"Be careful. It's hot." Dan warned.

"Yeah, I know," Shun muttered, eying him in disbelief.

"That's what you get for giving me nightmares," Dan practically sang, skipping out of the room, leaving behind a wet and angry ninja.

"Sorry it had to be this way, Shun," Masquerade said from beside him.

He jumped, amber eyes widening at the sight of the masked brawler in his bed. "Are you serious?"

He scoffed, flipping his teleported card up and catching it. "Of course not."

_**

* * *

**_

Okay, so any thoughts? Good or bad, drop me a line and review!

_**For the record, Masquerade was able to enter his dream and cause Shun nightmares.**_

_**Cocoacharm15 **_


	7. Theme 8: Diary of a Young Boy, Gus Grav

**_Another installment of utter nonsense. Warnings: Contains graphic descriptions of bodily fluids._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Bakugan, nor Potter Puppet Pals, which, incidentally, are REALLY owned by J.K. Rowling._**

**

* * *

**

The Diary of Young Boy: Gus Grav

_Ice, Lemonade, Hot Summer Day..._

While the Vexos liked being in control of New Vestroia, most of them felt like figureheads, since Spectra was the only one with any real power. All of these feelings of contempt and scorn had only increased when Gus had forced all the other Vexos to abandon their plans of fighting the Resistance, in favor of Spectra's idea. Although it was ridiculous, the weather now had more of a say in the plan than they did. For example, Spectra claimed that when it was excessively hot–as it was that particular summer day–they were to refrain from battling any members of the Resistance. Of course, he _was_ the one decked out in feathers and leather pants.

Consequently, half the team currently sat around in the control room, fanning themselves, while the other half was AWOL. Volt, occupied reading a graphic novel, swung his feet back and forth sluggishly. He timed it so that he wouldn't kick Mylene, who was busy pacing the room in her usual irritable state.

"Where's Shadow?" she hissed. "He was supposed to be here thirty seconds ago."

Lync, reclining on a chair with his feet propped up on a control panel, responded lazily, "I don't know, but I can finally stomach my food since he's not around."

"I don't want to hear about your digestive troubles!" she snapped, whirling to face him.

"Oh, looks like someone's sensitive about him," Lync teased, cracking himself up. "I hope he doesn't come back."

"Quiet!" she yelled, tipping his chair back. He fell over with a thud and a loud groan just as Shadow ran in panting and waving a book over his head.

"Oh, my gosh! Look what I found!" he exclaimed eagerly, followed by a triumphant giggle.

Volt looked up from his manga. "Is that a book?" he asked with mild interest.

Lync, still on the floor, raised his head. "I know a thing or two about books, and that's definitely a book."

"Is it a young adult vampire romance novel?" the Haos Brawler questioned zealously.

---

"Anyway," Shadow continued after putting Volt in the corner. "I found it in Gus' room in a locked trunk under his bed. It's his diary!"

"Should we read it?" Volt called from his time-out.

"No, I have a better idea!" Lync volunteered with enthusiasm. "Let's read it!"

Shadow laughed. "Yeah, great idea, Lync!"

Mylene sighed, bracing herself for the stupidity to come and adding disdainfully, "What a fascinating character study this will be."

The Darkus Brawler giggled like a young school girl. "Okay, this is the first entry. Dear diary..."

_Today I had no breakfast. I gave it to Master Spectra because he needed the energy to defeat the scourge of the Resistance and their strongest Brawler, Dan Kuso. _

_I thought of my mother._

_I cried._

"I'm hungry," Lync complained, his stomach testifying to his statement.

"What else is new, fatty?" Mylene grumbled.

Shadow shushed them, turning the page. "Yeah, yeah, now let's get to the good stuff."

"Can I go grab a sandwich?"

"No!"

_Dear Diary,_

_Today is was sweltering, and we were unable to hunt the Resistance, so I dawned my sun screen and cloak, and traveled to the nearest market to steal two powerful Bakugan for Master Spectra. When I got back to the base, one brawled the other, devoured it, and then died of loneliness._

_I felt envy._

"This is hilarious!" Shadow shouted.

"Can I go get those sandwiches now, and maybe some lemonade? You know, just to cool down." Lync suggested, torn over staying and reading the juicy inner secrets of Gus' mind or feeding himself.

"Hey, Shadow, I think I see you name," Mylene pointed out, ignoring the Ventus Brawler.

"Anyone? Lemonade with ice? _Lots_ of ice?"

"What?" Shadow screamed, turning back to the book.

_Today Shadow showed me his tongue for the five-millionth time. When I proceeded to suggest that he should behave more like Master Spectra, he merely shoved me into a wall, slobbering on me. It disturbed me quite a bit. Later he and his green friend repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness. That night I prayed for the first time in years._

_I prayed for the end. _

"I remember that, Lync! Give me five."

Lync glared. "You already took my money, Shadow."

"Oh, yeah...Mylene, give me five!"

"Five what?" she asked coldly.

"Never mind." His red eyes settled on Volt. "Volt, give me five!"

"I don't get paid," he answered emotionlessly, not glancing up from his manga.

"True."

_I lost a button on my favorite jacket today, and Master Spectra pointed it out in front of the entire Vexos. Oh, cruel attention._

_Button, oh, button, oh, where hath thou fled?_

_Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread?_

_Did thee roll of my bosom and cease to exist?_

_How I wish I could follow thee into the mist._

"What's a bosom, Shadow?" Lync asked cunningly, knowing well what a bosom was.

"Uh..."

"Yeah, tell him, Shadow." Mylene taunted, smirk in place. Oh, how she loved to watch him squirm.

He paled. "Oh, look, another page..."

_Today while in the bath..._

"Ew!" they all screamed in disgust (for the most part).

_...I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding Vulcan through a thunderstorm, and each lighting strike turned into_ his_ tongue, dripping with saliva. Then it became music. I was at my graduation with Mira Clay._

_I asked her to dance._

_She asked me to die._

_Would if I could, Mira. Would if I could._

Mylene chuckled. "Heh, she's not half-bad."

_I awoke in the tepid bath water with my skin like a raisin, and I was late for brawling practice with Master Spectra._

"I like human raisins," Lync offered, licking his lips. "And I also like lemonade._ Ice cold_ _lemonade_."

The doors swung open majestically. "Did somebody say raisins?" Spectra's royal voice echoed throughout the room, and Lync flinched from his proximity, replying, "I said raisins. How did you know?"

Their leader waltzed toward their self-appointed second in command, his coattails billowing behind him dramatically. "What are you lot up to? Coming up with strategies to defeat the Resistance, I assume?"

Shadow shook his head and tongue, admitting truthfully, "Nope. We're invading Gus' privacy by reading his personal diary which we stole from his room."

Spectra's whole demeanor changed in an instant. "What?"

"I said, we're invading–"

"Yes, yes, I heard. But what is all this about Gus keeping a diary?" Spectra inquired impatiently.

"Shadow snatched it and is reading it aloud," Volt summarized, eyes drifting lazily between the diary and the open page in his book.

The red-clad Brawler pondered this for a moment. "On second thought,"he drawled, taking the book out of Shadow's surprised hands and sitting down, "I am obligated to sit in on this gathering. A leader must know everything."

Shadow shrugged, stealing it back. "Fine, fine, but I read the stinky book."

Spectra seized it within a second, declaring aristocratically, "No, I am the leader, therefore it is my turn to read."

_During today's briefing session, Lync accidentally drank one of my more expensive juice boxes, but since Shadow was sitting right next to him, he promptly vomited a glittering rainbow of foul waste. Shadow erupted with applause, and the other Vexos followed suit (except Master Spectra, of course), triggering my migraine. I aborted the session and was forced to clean the boy sick. Halfway through, Shadow showed up and bragged about his many spit-ball victims. Then he told me I smelled of earth and left without wishing me a happy birthday. _

_Later I noticed my bottle of Earth lemonade was gone. I settled for a cup of hot chocolate, scalding my writing hand in the process of adding an ice-triangle to cool it down, and spilling it on my pants. I walked to the infirmary while covering the wet spot with my gauntlet. Volt laughed at me and made me wait while he treated Lync's runny nose. After an hour, it became apparent that he'd forgotten about me. I returned to my room, only to find I had locked myself out. I called for Shadow Prove, who showed up covered in bruises (probably Mylene's doing) and clearly having finished the lemonade, he knocked down my door, laughed at me, punched me in the shoulder too hard, and left me alone._

_I thought of my father._

_I cried. _

"This suddenly became excessively boring. I never would have guessed Gus' mind was so...mundane." Spectra announced after a yawn. "Let's write a new entry."

"That's the best idea you've ever had, Spectra!" Shadow shouted eagerly, and soon everyone was on board.

"Here's one of the pens I carry around with me at all times," Mylene said, pulling out a pen.

The group eyed her curiously, to which she responded with a self-conscious, "What?"

They all turned away, mumbling apologies, while Spectra clasped the pen deftly between his gloved fingers.

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "_I am Gus_," he wrote in his elegant script. "_I am so sad because Master Spectra bosses me around all the time. I don't have any friends because I reek of earth and juice. I give briefing sessions to Shadow Prove, and it's really boring because of his abnormally long tongue, and he makes me have depression. I think I'll go cry now, but not before I grab another juice box...Goodbye, forever._"

Lync giggled, thoughts of dehydration far from his mind. "Can I try?"

Spectra handed him the pen with a flourish. "Be my guest."

The pink-haired Vexos steadied his hand over a blank page. "I...am...G–"

"That's a good try, Lync," Mylene replied, taking her pen back. Spectra took the book back, flipping through the remaining entries, moderately interested.

The doors to the control room opened, letting in a rush of hot air. Gus entered the room, holding a pitcher of lemonade on a tray with ice-filled glasses radiating from it. Spectra quickly handed the diary back to Lync.

"Master Spectra, I have brought you what humans call 'Lemonade' to refresh you from this dreaded heat. I hope that you find it to your..." He allowed his emerald eyes to drift slowly to each face, until a book clasped in Lync's hands caught his attention. "That book...what are you doing with it?!" he shouted with ill-disguised panic.

Seafoam green eyes widened, and he tossed it to Volt while sending a glare at Spectra. "Gus!" he yelled with false concern. "Volt stole your diary!"

Gus' eyes became slits. "You didn't read it, did you?"

"Oh, he read it all right. He read it all!"

His face froze in its expression of horror. "I liked the story about the button, Gus." Volt remarked nonchalantly, tossing it back to its rightful owner and flipping the page in his manga. "It made me sad, thinking of that button, lost and alone. I hope you find it."

"S-so do I, Volt," the Subterra Brawler stammered.

Spectra stood up, reaching for a glass, a mischievous glint in his eyes and knowing smirk on his face. "Gus, if you admired my hair so much, you should have said something. I'll make sure to let you borrow my conditioner one of these days."

Gus could only pale and faint in front of his hero. Shadow picked up the book and continued reading. If Gus ever got his diary back, this would be the last entry.

---

_Meanwhile, thousands of miles away..._

"Oh my God, look what I found!" Dan screamed, a little black book in his hands.

"Is that a book?" Mira asked.

"You bet it is! But it's not just any old book. It's Shun's diary!" The brunette could hardly contain himself as he plopped down on the Resistance communal couch.

Ace eyed him suspiciously. "Do we _have_ to read it?"

"Yes. We do. This could change our lives! Here's the first page."

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I had herbal tea for my breakfast..._

_**

* * *

**_

Well, that's the end of this one. Drop me a line!

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	8. Theme 9: The Big Banana

**_This chapter is very, very insane, but funny, I hope. It centers around the Vexos and has some slight MylenexShadow, SpectraxGus, and SpectraxMylene. Also, for all those who have added this story to their favorites or their alerts (or both) thank you! I'm glad you're out there, but remember to let me know about your thoughts on the chapter! Feedback is a great motivator~! _**

**_.:I do not own any of references here: Dragon Ball Z, Incredibles, Yugioh Abridged, etc.:._**

* * *

_The Big Banana_

_Theme 9: Strawberry Syrup, Chocolate Syrup, and Sundae_

"Where is my chicken suit?" Spectra bellowed regally from the shower room. It, much like all the other amenities of their lair, was branched off from the oval-shaped gathering room they used as mission control. Consequently, his command that was only meant for Gus reached the ears of _all_ the Vexos who were currently assembled there, which was, in fact, all of them.

The rest of the Vexos looked up from their tasks, mundane as they might be, glancing at the Subterra Brawler slyly. Gus took no note of this, and merely replied in confusion, "Excuse me, Master Spectra?"

"Where. Is. My. Chicken. Suit?" the leader enunciated sharply, the water still running.

"You mean your jacket?" Shadow clarified, not looking up from his game of _Nintendogs_.

"Yes! Where is it?"

Gus actually had no idea where his red coat was because he'd left it in Master Spectra's room the night before. By all means, he should have had it. However, not wanting to seem like he'd lost it, Gus answered, "Um, I put it away, Master Spectra."

"Where?" he demanded.

"Why do you need to know?" Mylene snapped, oddly coming to Gus's aid. She didn't really like the blue-haired Brawler, but she'd say just about anything to get Spectra to shut up.

"I need it!"

"Oh, no! Don't you think about running off after Dan Kuso again for a brawl! We've been planning this Vexos Monopoly Night for three weeks!" Lync chimed in, upset. All he wanted was a darn game night between him and his buddies because they rarely had any quality time together. He was _not_ about to let Spectra ruin their night again—Scrabble night and Sorry night hadn't gone well—with his pride.

"But our reputation is in danger!" Spectra argued through the door.

"Our game night is in danger!" Lync shot back.

"You tell me where my suit is Gus!" Spectra replied angrily, changing tactics. "I'm trying to do something for the greater good!"

"Greater good?" Mylene echoed sarcastically. "We're your team! We're the greatest good you're ever going to get!"

Ignoring her accordingly, the leader yelled, "_Augustus_!"

Volt, distracted from his vampire novel by all the shouting, finally decided to intervene. "It's getting a badly needed laundering," he offered abstractedly. Volt was the laundry guru for the team, and though he'd announced that he was washing all their Resistance-hunting outfits—all the others hadn't minded changing into something not made of leather and without a cape—Spectra had obviously missed the message and was one unhappy Vexos.

"You're _washing_ my suit?"

"You found the change of clothes, right?"

A crash came from the bathroom, sounding suspiciously like Spectra had slipped in the shower. "Are you out of your mind? I will not be seen wearing this…this _pink monstrosity_. I can't even tell if this is for a man or a woman!"

The other Vexos, including Mylene, found it hard to stifle their giggles, picturing Spectra wearing a pink shirt instead of his usual brown leather attire. Even Volt had to smile slightly at his purposeful humiliation, adding offhandedly, "It's that or nothing. Your pick."

Spectra sputtered at Volt's reply, indignity sweeping through him. "Your savagery knows no bounds!"

Volt didn't bother to reply and was soon engrossed in his novel again (he couldn't miss seeing Edward save Bella from Victoria!). The other Vexos lost interest, too, when the bathroom got quiet all of a sudden. Gus, for all his loyalty to Spectra, didn't seem too worried about his Master. He'd had a long day cleaning the lair (he was the cleaning guru), and though he hated to admit it, he was looking forward to Lync's game night and didn't want to follow Spectra after Dan Kuso. Gus really just wanted to kick all their butts at Monopoly, something he was quite adept at.

He became distracted from his internal monologue by the entrance of Master Spectra, his red mask not serving to cover his embarrassment. Of course, the worse part was that his pink t-shirt and green pants clashed horribly with the mask.

At the raucous laughter that greeted his arrival, he let out an uncharacteristic moan. "I look like a flower!" he spat with contempt.

Shadow put his game aside, his pug puppy appeased for the moment. "Wow…" he snickered, not trying to reign in his laughter. "Pretty stylish!"

"Stop that! Stop that this instant!" their leader shouted angrily. His shouts silenced them immediately. Spectra fixed Volt with a frigid stare. The Haos user remained unfazed. "I've had it with your little pranks, dear team members. The leader should be respected!"

It was quiet a moment. Then, "But you make it _so_ easy, Spectra," Shadow replied with cackle, adding sardonically, "A chicken suit? Really? I thought I was bad."

"Shadow," Gus warned, standing up from his perch.

"No, Gus," Spectra stated simply. "Do not interfere."

Lync, however, wasn't listening. His game night was falling apart by the minute with all this pointless bickering. "Guys, I know I'm just the guy who comes up with the group activities, but we all play an important part in the Vexos! We're like a giant Vexos sundae." His team members in confusion, so Lync was forced elaborated. "Spectra, you're the vanilla flavored ice cream; Gus, you're the whipped cream; Mylene and Shadow, you're the strawberry and chocolate syrup; and Volt, you're the mixed nuts that go on top!"

Spectra chuckled slightly. "You know, Lync, you've placed everything in perspective for me." Lync smiled widely. Then Spectra narrowed his eyes and hissed, "I quit."

"No!" the boy shouted.

"No way!" Mylene snapped. "You…you can't quit Phantom! I was about to quit, and now everyone will think I was just following the leader."

"Heya! Hold your horses!" Shadow demanded with a pout. "What if _I_ quit…? Yeah…I _do_ quit!"

"Wait, a minute!" Gus shouted. "We can't all just…" he glanced about the room to see it already empty. "…quit," he finished lamely. He sighed and pulled a hand through his long blue hair.

It was time for plan B.

-X-

_Two years later…_

"And welcome back to _Grilling with Gus_!" The studio audience clapped as Gus reintroduced his show. He smiled big as the camera zoomed in on him. "Folks, I know I say this all the time, but this grilled barbeque chicken is my best dish yet! We just need a little rosemary to garnish it, and it'll be perfect." To demonstrate, he sprinkled his chicken with the herb and snapped his fingers.

"This makes the perfect family meal if you're running short on time," he added. "That's all for today's show, so if you didn't have time to copy the recipe then head on over to my website to check it out. Thanks for watching and see you here next time on _Grilling with Gus_."

"…and that's a wrap!" the producer shouted as the credits began rolling. "Great show, Gus. The ratings are going to skyrocket after this one."

Gus stepped around his indoor grill, tossing off his chef's hat and 'Kiss the ex-Vexos member' apron. "Thanks, Chad. That recipe is one of my favorites. I hope that all my viewers will like it, too."

The older gentleman clapped him on the shoulder with a chuckle. "They will you'll see! Now, are you still doing that catering event tonight?"

"Yes, I was, actually," Gus answered. "It'll be held at that new hotel in town, right?"

The man nodded, adding with a wink, "I hear they'll have live entertainment."

Before he could ask what Chad meant, his producer was gone, leaving him to check his list to make sure he had everything he'd need for that night.

-X-

Sarah, the CEO's personal assistant, knocked hesitantly on her boss's door. She had never quite figured out, much like the rest of the employees, how to tell when the boss was in a good mood, so she was always walking on eggshells around the CEO.

"What is it?" her leader barked through the door.

Sarah poked her head in, clearing her throat. "Um, I have that finance report you asked for from the PR department."

Mylene rolled her eyes, typing away at her computer. "Well, what are you waiting for? Bring it here!"

"Yes, ma'am." The assistant strode forward and gingerly placed a folder on the corner of her desk.

"Did you need something else?" Mylene asked exasperatedly when Sarah did not leave.

"Well, I just needed to confirm your attendance to the fashion show and set up a meeting with the investors…"

"Yes, yes, I'm going. And tell them we'll work on the meeting after the show."

"Yes, Ms. Pharaoh," replied Sarah, bowing and hurrying out of her office.

Mylene was not excited about the fashion show tonight, but the designer was promising, and if it turned out well, she might just invest in it. That, however, was still to be seen.

-X-

"Mr. Volan! Mr. Volan!" cried Raul, the clerk to the _Haus of Lync _decorations shop.

The small boy poked his head out from behind a stack of boxes in the storage room. "Yeah?"

Raul, a tall dark-skinned man, moved a few boxes aside before addressing his boss and twiddling his thumbs nervously. "Mr. Volan, we don't have the right color of streamers that the designer ordered."

"Are you sure?" Lync asked, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "I was sure that picked some up just yesterday."

"You did, sir, except it's a shade off…"

Lync groaned and smacked his forehead with a palm. "Dang it! Man, this sucks. But do we have everything else?"

Raul nodded. "Yes, we do. Those streamers are all we need."

Lync sighed gratefully. "Phew! Good thing, too! Well, I guess I'll go get those now then. You okay to run everything while I'm gone?"

"I am, sir. I'll keep everything in shape."

With a nod, Lync stepped out of his shop, the bell on top of the door chiming on his way out. It felt good to be in charge of someone else for once. He smiled lightly and headed down the street with a spring in his step.

-X-

Volt sat back in his chair, tinkering with the lens on his camera. He wanted to have it adjusted just right for the fashion show tonight where he was going to be the lead photographer. From his vantage point right in front of the runway, he got a good look at the angle from which the models would emerge. He snapped a few test shots of the runway, but seeing them a little blurry and too bright, he adjusted the settings again.

He took another picture, looking down at the shot and seeing a person in it.

"Hey! You could've blinded me!" screeched the lighting director. How a little flash from a camera could blind the director but the dozen spotlights centered on the runway couldn't was anyone's guess.

"Sorry, Pete, I was just trying to get my settings right for the show," Volt explained.

Pete laughed loudly, jumping off the runway to land next to Volt. "I gotta hand it to you, Volt, you're one dedicated guy." He scratched the back of his neck. "I guess we're two of the same then, since I'm just trying to perfect my lighting cues."

Volt smiled slightly and set his camera aside.

"Thinking of a special lady?" Pete asked slyly, nudging the former Vexos.

Volt shook his head, smirking. "Nah, I'm just looking forward to the future, like always."

-X-

"No, no, no! For the last time, I want the swimsuit and lingerie line to go _last_! It's my favorite part!" Shadow whined loudly, the producer of the fashion show sighing deeply in reply. Of course, the producer hadn't succeeded in convincing Le Prove (Shadow's designer name) to change the lineup for the show. What Le Prove wanted, Le Prove got.

"Are all the models ready?" Shadow asked, sticking his tongue out and slipping into a faux fur purple coat.

"Yes, Le Prove," the producer replied tiredly. "They all know their parts and order."

"Good. If anyone messes up, it's off with their head!"

-X-

Finally, the time for the show arrived and Gus Grav had set up the cold treats to be enjoyed after it. He was now at leisure to watch the models make their way down the runway, so he took a seat around the edge near the middle.

Similarly, Lync Volan had finished decorating the runway and gathering room early enough to catch the show. Getting comfortable near the back, he settled in to watch the models strut their stuff and relax for the rest of the evening.

Up in the very front row, Volt Luster snapped and snapped pictures that would later be distributed to the most prestigious magazines around the world and saved by the designer himself.

Two rows back sat Mylene Pharaoh, making notes every so often on her notepad about pros and cons of the designer. The investors would be pleased with her observations, she was sure.

Back stage Shadow Prove watched as models he'd never met before showed off the clothing designs he'd come up with for the season.

Five Vexos assembled all within the same room, and all completely oblivious to the existence of the others, until…

"SPECTRA?" the five Vexos screamed at once, standing up from their seats (Shadow coming out from behind the curtain) as they saw their former leader sauntered down the runway wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy pink swimming trunks.

Soon, Spectra was off stage, a red haired model taking his place. Lync, the one furthest back, saw everyone standing up and quickly made his way to Gus as he, in turn, caught up to Mylene, who'd grabbed Volt by the collar as the photographer made his way to Shadow. The four of them, after exchanging incredulous looks, said no more as they climbed on stage at the end of the fashion show and found Shadow cornering Spectra.

"What on _Vestal_ were you thinking? Modeling in _my_ show?" Shadow shouted, poking him in his bare chest.

"Excuse me, Shadow," Spectra said tightly, smacking Shadow's hand away, "but I didn't know _you_ were the designer, or else I wouldn't have accepted. I was just told to walk."

"You went out there in your underwear!" Lync laughed. "Pink underwear! And you were complaining about that when you left the team!"

Spectra bristled at the accusation, retorting with a pointed look at Shadow, "At least I wasn't the one who designed the underwear."

Shadow merely cackled off the insult. "Hey, this career is paying me _way_ more than being a Vexos ever did. All I have to do is run crazy with colors and fabrics!"

"Well, my career is pretty good, too," Lync chimed in. "I own a shop and everything."

"I have a restaurant," Gus offered. "Plus, I have my own show on the Sustenance Network."

"Oh, yeah, well, I'm the CEO of the most successful company in Vestal," Mylene bragged, not wanting to be left out.

"I'm a photographer," Volt stated simply.

There was a moment of silence as the Vexos digested what had happened within the last two years. No one knew quite what to say.

"I miss you guys," Lync whispered so quietly that the rest of them barely caught it.

It was enough.

"I…" Gus began softly. "I do, too."

Shadow swallowed thickly, adding just as quietly. "Maybe we are just one big ol' Vexos sundae. Because I'm okay with being chocolate syrup." He reached out to Mylene, his hand in the air. "Do you want to be the strawberry syrup?"

She didn't say anything, but nodded.

"Volt, will you be our mixed nuts?" Gus inquired hopefully.

The Haos Brawler looked down at the camera around his neck before answering firmly, "Yes, I will."

The group turned to Spectra, gauging his reaction.

"Spectra?" Lync asked. "Big Banana?"

Spectra met each of their eyes, ending with Gus. "Lync, I agree with your proposal. Let us be a team once again."

Lync and Shadow broke into cheers, dancing around Spectra like maniacs.

"First thing's first, though," Volt interrupted. "Put some clothes on, Spectra. Only Gus and Mylene want to see that."

"Volt, I am a model at heart," Spectra replied proudly. "I will remain like this as long as I please."

"Shadow will make you another chicken suit if you get dressed," Volt deadpanned.

Spectra disappeared into his dressing room in three seconds flat.

"Some things never change," Mylene remarked dryly, following her group after Spectra

-X-

_Some time later…_

"I am the banker," Spectra announced, grabbing the money and seating himself at a corner of the board.

"Only if I get to be the dog!" Lync called merrily, snatching his piece from the pile.

Shadow pulled it from his hands. "I'm always the dog!"

"Okay, then I'll be the car."

"I'm always the car!"

"I'll be the annoying freak then!"

"I'm always the annoying freak!"

"Suddenly, I miss not being part of this team," Mylene snapped, getting her game piece.

"I'm always not part of this team!" Shadow yelled.

_Just another day in the life of the Vexos._

"I'm always another day in the life of the Vexos!"

* * *

**_What did I say above? Oh, yes, feedback please :D_**

**_Cocoacharm15_**


	9. Theme 11: Where the Wild Things Are

_**It's been a while, I know, but I worked a ton on this one. Idea suggestion by Doomburger, so if this is any good, thanks to Doom, too.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Bakugan. **_

* * *

Salt, Pepper, Bam...

"All I wanted was some salt and pepper!" Dan shouted, exasperated.

Pans flew threw the air, smashing against the walls and granite countertops. The oven's flames climbed higher and higher. Knives clattered to the floor. Foodstuffs lay discarded across the tiled floor.

_2 hours earlier_

"…So…have you guys heard the one about the chicken?" Dan asked tentatively, baring a huge grin to his friends, hoping to break the silence that had settled in Marucho's dining room. He was greeted with a whoosh of air from the open window overlooking the rest of the puny city.

The group shook their heads dejectedly, bored out of their minds and not even bothering to reply to their temperamental friend. "Neither have I," he sighed.

Julie mimicked his sigh, cradling her head in her hand while daydreaming about the day Billy would return from his adventures to sweep her off her feet. Alice, on the other hand, worried about her grandfather, whom she'd left alone in Moscow for this trip, all the while sneaking glances at the boy seated across from her and wondering what he was thinking. Said boy, known to everyone else as Shun, happened to be considering the easiest way to take out his own grandfather without anyone suspecting anything, although he did happen to casually look over at the redhead, pretending he didn't notice when her eyes strayed toward him. Marucho, their host, seemed at a loss as well, for once out of ideas as to what to do next.

The six guardian Bakugan lounged lazily in the decorative fruit bowl centered on the mahogany table, trying to figure out what exactly was so appealing about these "fake fruits." So far, no such luck. In fact, the Bakugan had just given up their quest, concluding that humans were "just plain weird," as Preyas put it.

The only two people actively engaged in something were Dan and Runo, who'd come to a silent agreement that dared the other to say something incredibly stupid to lighten the mood. Dan had taken the first step in making a joke, albeit a bad one. Now it was Runo's turn.

"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding," she stated matter-of-factly, smirking when the others turned to look at her and cracked smiles.

Dan groaned. "Really, guys? A Chuck Norris joke? I could've come up with something better than that."

"Well, why didn't you, then?" Runo taunted.

"I will." Dan pondered quietly for a moment. "Okay, so a ninja is hiking in the woods for two hours, and then he rests for one hour. Three hours later he finds a pond where he bathes for four hours. Five hours later he finds a blocked mountain pass, and it takes him two hours to get past it…" He continued his story for five more minutes, until he suddenly exclaimed, "What time does he get home?"

His friends stared at each other for a moment, wondering whether to answer the question or go back to ignoring him.

"It's simple, really." Shun offered calmly. "I didn't go home."

Giggles burst from the others, eventually escalating into full-fledged laughter and eliciting a frown from the Pyrus Brawler. Leave it to Shun to burst Dan's bubble.

"But that's not the answer!" Dan protested, effectively silencing his friends. "…but it _could_ be."

The group laughed again, a chorus of melodious giggles, deep chuckles, and hearty bellows. Dan grinned arrogantly, motioning for Runo to go next, although at this point, he figured he had it in the bag.

She grinned back. "What's brown and sticky?"

"I thought this was supposed to be a clean fight!" Dan accused, sending the others into a flurry of giggles.

Runo growled in response, eyeing the expensive-looking glass sculpture behind him and resisting the urge to shove him into it. "No fair, Kuso! It was my turn!"

"My eardrums!" He shouted playfully, clapping his hands over his ears before grinning cheekily and saying, "I know that when you yell at me, it means you love me."

A vicious snarl erupted from her throat, and she slammed her fists on the table, inadvertently knocking over the salt and pepper shakers strategically placed in the center of the large table. The others exchanged tired glances, already bored with their everlasting fights.

"Ha ha! You have bad lu—" the brunette paused mid-shout, his brow creasing with confusion. "Why are those shakers empty?"

"Dan, those shakers are merely decorative," Marucho chimed in.

"What! This is an outrage!" he cried, repeating Runo's action at the head of the table. "You can't have shakers without salt and pepper. I'm gonna find some salt, and you, Runo, will get bad luck."

He shoved away from the table dramatically, pushing his way through a set of swinging doors.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Runo stomped after him, and Alice soon broke the silence that had settled in the dining room.

"We should follow them. We wouldn't want them to do anything rash." With a shrug, the remaining Brawlers trailed after the short-tempered couple.

None of them, however, had noticed that the decorative fruit bowl had seemingly disappeared.

Well, not really, it had just been lowered through a secret compartment like something out of an action movie, taking all the Bakugan with it.

"It's the apocalypse! Run!" Preyas screamed, following his own advice and promptly running into Drago.

"Preyas, remain calm. I'll find the way out of here," the Dragonoid responded mightily, quickly taking control of the situation. He examined the darkness in vain. Nothing was distinguishable immediately, but once his eyes accustomed to the darkness, Drago saw a faint glimmer of light at a distance.

"Our best bet is to go in that direction," Drago decided, climbing out of the fruit bowl.

"You're not supposed to go to the light!"

"Oh, hush, Preyas." Tigrerra commanded. "Drago is the Ultimate Bakugan for a reason."

He sputtered indignantly for a second, rearing up for a comeback, but Gorem interrupted him.

"I think we should follow Drago. Once we reach the light we can form a new plan."

"Yes, that is definitely in our best interests," Skyress added, already ahead of the others.

"Hurry up!" Hydranoid called out, following her lead.

Preyas could only sigh dejectedly.

---

The spotless kitchen loomed ahead of the Brawlers, clean and orderly, just as Kato always kept it. Not a pot out of place. The granite countertops gleamed in the natural light raining down from ceiling, and the various stainless steel appliances reflected the glow, appearing ethereal. At first, they could only stare in awe at the amazing sight before them (except for Marucho, of course, since he's used to all that.)

"Okay now, where's the salt and pepper?" Dan pondered aloud, mentally rating each set of cabinets to decide which one was most likely to hold the spices.

His mahogany gaze settled on a glass cabinet directly across from him brimming with spices, food colorings, and other assorted kitchen-y items. A small plastic bottle caught his eye, reading the magic word: Salt. Dan allowed himself a smirk, before realizing that his destination looked to be about a thousand miles away. The wide, lengthy space stretched forward almost indefinitely.

Undeterred, he stepped forward, the others behind him, tentatively taking a step. A grinding sound was heard from the blender to his right. The diced remains of something particularly nasty erupted from the machine, coating the Brawlers.

"What is this?" Julie shrieked over the noise, while Marucho shoved Dan's foot off the trigger, which happened to be a loose tile.

Dan laughed nervously. "That was nothing, guys. Look, I see the salt and pepper over there."

"We should get out of here, you knucklehead!" Runo advised.

"I concur. Kato never lets anyone into his kitchen, most likely because he knows this place better than anyone."

"Please, Dan, listen to Runo for once," Alice pleaded, plucking some remains off her sweater.

Shun abstained from commenting, instead reclining against the oven. The furor escalated whilst he watched apathetically. Then, for once in his cold life, he felt warmth and not necessarily in the most appealing places. His back was on fire, and it wasn't until a loud beep sounded that he noticed the red hot range boiling over and a spark igniting. Acting quickly, he leaped forward, narrowly avoiding the flames that engulfed the oven, and pushing his friends forward.

It, however, was out of the oven and into the fire.

With a loud bam, Dan collided with the countertop, sending the numerous pans and utensils suspended overhead raining down on him. The rest of the Brawlers scattered, crashing into the opposite side of the kitchen where lavish knife sets dangled precariously above them. The impact sent them hurtling forward, and while everyone else jetted back toward Dan, Julie could only watch in awe for they were shiny. She reacted at the last minute, avoiding all but one knife which took a snippet of silver hair.

It wafted down slowly onto the ornate floor. With another shriek, she passed out.

Meanwhile, Runo crashed into Dan, hugging him romantically in the process.

"This is not the time to be cuddling!" Shun scolded, and rightly so because at that exact moment Alice opened a cabinet, trying to stay steady, but unleashing a flamethrower, which for some reason was installed inside of a kitchen.

The flames consumed the immediate area, catching a dazed Julie in the crossfire and singeing another piece of her hair and causing her to faint. Again.

Alice dove out of the flame's path, sending the stainless steal trashcan flying and releasing the half-decomposed remains of yesterday's meals. Dan feinted to the right, dragging Runo with him, but slipping on a banana peel.

"Holy crap, banana peel!" he shouted, sliding forward and pushing little Marucho into the wine rack settled on the countertop. It teetered dangerously before settling, that is until Shun leaned on the counter and brushed against the corks.

A flood of red wine spouted from the bottles, drenching Shun and Marucho and sending the lids ricocheting off the walls and appliances, all somehow only hitting Shun. Alice, trying to find a first aid kit, opened another drawer, releasing a flurry of silverware. They launched out of the drawer, some striking the ninja, and others reaching Dan. He tugged on a cabinet to stand and pulled it open, making canned goods cascade out and obstruct his path. Carefully guiding Runo through the maze of cans, he used his most potent voice, "Retreat, men!"

He ran into a corner, which was untouched by the mayhem, and the other soon joined him. He saw Julie lying unconscious, and Dan asked, "Should we go back?"

"No!" they shouted, abandoning the Subterra Brawler.

From the corner, they watched as the kitchen detonated with food and dangerous appliances. Everything flew through the air, and the once impeccable kitchen was now a shadow of its former self. Shun, noticing that one more item in the fray wouldn't make a difference, tossed in a shuriken for the heck of it. It sailed silently, and just as Julie awoke again, it embedded itself into the wall beside her, pinning her hair.

Eager to escape, she tugged, ripping out a sizeable chunk of silver locks, but at this point she didn't care, and she dare not faint again.

---

"A-are we there y-yet?" Preyas asked loudly, shivering from the sudden drop in temperature.

"Almost," Drago answered in his rumbling voice. "It shouldn't be too far."

"Easy for you to say," the Aquos Bakugan mumbled. "You're a Pyrus Bakugan."

Skyress and Tigrerra, being the only two females of the group, immersed themselves in the human equivalent of gossip, chatting about the latest products for keeping their spherical bodies in tip-top shape. Hydranoid and Gorem shared bored looks before rushing forward to restrain Drago from lashing out at Preyas in annoyance.

"Look, everyone! It's the exit!" Preyas shouted, elated. His coldness forgotten, he dashed into the light. "Hey, this isn't the exit!"

As soon as the others joined him, they realized how right he was. Food was stacked in storage units, ranging from liquids to solids to a mixture of both.

"Dan has one of these," Drago explained. "He calls it a re-frig-er-a-tor."

"Alice also owns such a device," Hyranoid said. "She uses it to store the dead remains of her victims." If they could have, the Bakugan would have quirked their eyebrows to accompany the silence that had settled. "Fine, she uses it to store 'food.'"

"Well, how do we escape from here?" Gorem asked.

"Someone has to open the door." Tigrerra responded.

"What is this?" Preyas asked himself, completely off topic. He prodded a white, fleshy item which was floating in a reddish liquid.

"I believe that is a chicken," Tigrerra answered, knowing from experience her at Runo's restaurant.

"Julie told me once that chickens are birds, like you, Skyress. And possibly Drago." Gorem piped in.

Skyress and Drago nodded in agreement, but slowly stopped as Gorem continued. "She also said that cats eat birds."

Realization dawned, and they slowly turned to stare at Tigrerra.

"What is it?" she asked. With a scream both Bakugan took off, weaving their way through the maze of food. Skyress took shelter behind a jar of jelly, and Drago ran in the opposite direction, running into a labyrinth of Swiss cheese.

Bam! Something crashed against the outside of the door, but it did not open, and from his view on top of the cheese, Drago could picture himself ruling over the Kingdom of the Refrigerator, that is, if they didn't get rescued.

---

Huddled in the corner of the kitchen, Dan could see no way out of this one. They were all going to die, and it was all his fault. Man, he was a jerk!

Suddenly, slow footsteps echoed in the hallway, and with bated breath, the Brawlers watched as Kato himself entered the kitchen, whistling a happy tune. He flicked a switch and the anarchy stopped abruptly. He stepped past the mess, not noticing it or the kids in the corner. Digging around in a cabinet for a specific tray, Kato located it and proceeded to leave the room. Just as Dan got ready to call out to him, Kato hit the switch again.

Then the blender started.

_**

* * *

**_

How was that? I think it turned out well, maybe, possibly…

_**Leave a review, please (even though I suck at updating frequently)! Oh, and in case you're wondering, a stick is brown and sticky XD**_


	10. Theme 12: Code 10,15

_**Well, since it has been a while since the last update, I made this one really long. I had something else to say, but I can't remember what it is so we're movin' on.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Bakugan. Sigh. Oh, and I also don't own Evil Iguana Productions, which inspired this idea.**_

* * *

Spinach, Radish, Shakers

Baron pedaled swiftly down the hill on Dan's bike, rapidly gaining speed. His white communicator, clipped to his waist, beeped for the thirtieth time that day. He pushed himself faster, ignoring the danger in his actions. He didn't let the fact that he had zero experience when it came to earthly transportation stop him. To him, this was an emergency. He leaped off the bike before it had even stopped, tossing it against a nearby tree.

"Alright, so I got called over for a backup situation," he explained to himself as he scanned the empty city park for the fiery brunette. Dan had convinced Baron that pretending to be police officers would be a fun, since all earth kids did it at some point. In fact, Dan had taken it so far as to involve their other friends, who, unfortunately for them, didn't know they were playing, too.

The violet-haired Vestal racked his brain for the other piece of information Dan had given him. He paced in front of a tall, leafy tree. "Oh!" he shouted out loud. "Possible tree-racing, that's right, so we're going to check that out."

Apparently, "tree-racing" had been a real problem in that part of the neighborhood lately and according to Dan, they had been doing a good job of settling it down. Of course, when Dan said _tree-racing_, he meant racing _in_ the trees themselves.

"Officer Dan," Baron greeted, finally spotting him and strolling with a well-feigned casualness.

"Baron," he replied curtly, scribbling furiously on a small notepad.

"What do we have?" Baron surveyed the scene, not noting anything unusual about the warm evening. He didn't even see the alleged suspects.

Dan flipped one page back, clearing his throat confidently. "Well, I caught the suspects going 98 in a 35 zone."

Now, whether he was talking miles, meters, or acres was unknown to everyone except Dan.

"That's a little over the speed limit," Baron remarked nonchalantly.

Dan nodded, adding, "They were flying, and I started following them. After five or six trees, because they were trying to run, I finally got them pulled over. I've got them handcuffed on the other side of this tree."

Baron raised his eyebrows at this, impressed that Dan had gone as far as to apprehend the suspects. Dan was not the "Master" for nothing.

"I started searching their pockets, and I found some illegal substances. The first thing I found was some radishes, and the second was something new. I'm not familiar with these." Dan held up a neatly labeled can. "It's called _Popeye_. I'm not exactly sure what that is; I'm not familiar with that name."

The buff Vestal examined the can carefully. The picture on the label featured a sailor with anatomically incorrect muscles. "You know, this looks like your normal drug. It's probably just some new kids making new names for it."

"I don't want any new stuff on the street. I'm hoping it's just a new name for something old. But it's very apparent that they're on something."

The lead cop walked around an aging tree, pulling a flashlight out of his pocket and shining it into the faces of the delinquents, although the sun had yet to set.

A copper-haired girl squinted up at him. "That's very bright, Dan," Alice remarked quietly. Her normally pristine outfit was smudged with faint traces of dirt, and her warm eyes were clouded over in confusion.

"What's with the light, Dan?" Shun asked, annoyed. His hands were tied behind his back to prevent him from performing any dangerous ninja moves that might help him escape authority.

"Do you understand why I've got you pulled over, why I've got you handcuffed right now?" Dan asked seriously, ignoring his question.

"No, we don't," Shun seethed. "This is absolutely ridiculous." His frown almost looked like a pout, and Alice would have found it cute had Dan not looked so absurdly stern.

"Tree-racing," Dan answered calmly.

"Tree-racing is illegal," Baron added.

"Very illegal."

"If you're not in _NASCAR_, you're not allowed to race. Period."

"What about ninja training?" Shun asked, just wanting to continue his training. He'd brought Alice along to show her a day in the life of a modern-day ninja, and she'd eagerly agreed, but then again, they weren't expecting Dan to pull another one of his stunts.

"Ninja training?" Baron repeated, before mimicking the arrogant show the Pyrus Brawler was putting on. "I don't care what this is called."

"It's ninja training," Shun repeated slowly. "I'm a ninja, and I train."

"We could call it Bakugan training for all I care, and we will not have it in this town."

Shun and Alice exchanged weary looks. It wasn't going to be easy to get out of this one. Dan was taking himself way too seriously.

"You know what else is illegal?" Dan continued, holding up his notepad. "I've got a list here of all the things you've been doing tonight."

"But Dan, we've done nothing wrong," Alice insisted, staring up at the two boys whose forms blocked out the sun. She tugged futilely against the plastic handcuffs that were beginning to dig into her wrists.

"First off, going 98 in a 35, that is a jailable offense. I should have you arrested right now, and I should confiscate your ninja materials."

"But if you don't go practice, you don't get better," Shun stated, trying to stay calm. He subtly pulled on his handcuffs.

"You're not supposed to be racing in the first place!" Baron reprimanded, shaking his head in disappointment. "Racing is over in this neighborhood."

"It is done," Dan added. "Second, I don't know if I should count this as littering or depositing injurious material on a walkway, but I caught them—" he paused "—throwing radishes out from the trees. It appeared to be an attempt to run other people off the path."

"Radishes, guys?" Baron repeated, disbelieving.

"Ninjas have to pack provisions," Alice explained, not bothering to mention that Shun was indeed using them as projectiles.

"It's not our fault they get hit," Shun argued.

"Oh, it is your fault!" Dan shouted. "There has been an injury. There is a Mr. von Hertzen on the way to the hospital right now—"

"You got him, Shun," Alice murmured, in a tone that suggested she was trying to be upset, but a small grin broke through. Shun smirked, internally daring Klaus to attempt to steal his woman again.

"You did get him, and he's on the way to the hospital right now with some serious injuries," Baron conceded, crossing his arms in a strict manner.

"Well, then he shouldn't have gotten hit," the dark-haired teen mumbled.

Dan studiously ignored his comment, tapping his list with a chewed pencil. He eyed Shun and Alice warily before writing something down. "Also, possession of controlled substances." He motioned for Baron to get the can. "What is this? This _Popeye_, is this yours?"

"Yes, that is ours," Alice responded carefully.

"This is your _Popeye_." Dan reiterated. "You understand that this is illegal?"

"It's just spinach, Dan. How is spinach—"

Dan cut his friend off. "These are leaves, Shun. Illegal."

"But it's healthy, and it makes us go faster. Spinach is full of calcium that makes bones grow. "

"Oh, yeah, I bet they make you grow," Dan replied sarcastically, making a face at the offending can and chucking it at his partner.

Baron straightened, taking a cue from his Master and arrogantly interrogating them. "I bet they make you go faster. A little bit of acid would make you go faster. You want acid, huh? Maybe some crack? Some PSP? Tylenol? Maybe a little bit of Nyquil? How about some chloroform, you guys want cholo—"

Dan tapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. "My bad," Baron apologized.

"I'll take care of this, Officer Baron." Dan leaned close to Shun, angry sparks practically flying between them. "I bet they make you go faster. A little bit of acid would make you go faster. You want acid, huh? Maybe some crack? Some PSP? Tylenol? Maybe a little bit of Nyquil?"

Shun lunged forward, and the younger boys flinched, before remembering he was tied up. The officers shared a smirk.

"Also, along with having this in your procession, you're training under the influence of these drugs, which is not only dangerous to yourselves, but to others around you."

"We do nothing wrong. We're just training," Shun sighed. Again he jerked at the handcuffs, feeling restless until the Russian gently leaned against his shoulder. The ninja relaxed instantly, but Dan continued to tempt his self-control.

"I hope you people are proud of yourselves," Baron concluded frigidly.

"Well, I don't want this to be a rising problem. Obviously, I'm going to have to take you two into the station." Dan remarked, more to himself, though Shun's eyes narrowed dangerously upon catching the sentence. Dan had never bested him in physical feats, and if he thought he was going to be able to drag Shun anywhere, boy was he wrong.

The flimsy plastic around his wrists snapped with one strong jerk of his arms. Baron and Dan eyed each other frantically, and Shun took the opportunity to jet in the opposite direction. He clearly knew that Alice was still back there, but all he wanted to do was wear Dan out. Once the Pyrus Brawler was exhausted, he'd double back and save her from the Vestal. Besides, it's not like Baron could do much without Dan, anyway.

"Run, Shun!" Alice shouted, leaping to her feet as Dan raced after his older friend. Baron fidgeted with something in his pocket, glancing uncertainly at the calm girl before him. He pulled out a white shaker, examining it in confusion.

"Baron?" she asked tentatively. "What exactly is the shaker for?"

The bulky boy shrugged. "I'm not sure, Master Alice. Master—I mean, _Officer_ Dan said it was a _Taser_. He didn't tell me what it was for, though." Alice gave him a sympathetic smile. "Do you know what it's for, Master Alice?"

She shook her head nervously. "No, I don't, Baron."

"Oh." Disappointment laced his usually cheery voice, but a grin broke through quickly, his eyes gleaming. "Do you think Master Shun will teach me how to break handcuffs?"

"Um…sure…"

---

Dan smiled brightly as the cool Japanese breeze drifted through his messy brown locks. Not surprisingly, his legs ached from all the running he'd done the day before. His face contorted into an annoyed grimaced, recalling the five blocks he'd had to run before Shun had even begun to slow down. The spry ninja had then returned to the park and munched on those dreaded spinach leaves, and Dan swore that Shun totally bulked up by doing so. Those things were steroids, and Shun had the nerve to call them healthy!

Still, yesterday's events weren't about to rain on his parade. He was just getting into the groove of being a policeman, and Baron was just gaining a newfound respect for Dan's imagination. Anything that boosted Dan's ego was worth definitely worth the brunette's time.

Today's mission: Respond to a breaking and entering call that happened to be the third one reported in this neighborhood this week. It might be gang-related, so he sent Officer Baron to deal with the distressed owner, while Dan patrolled the outside for suspicious activity.

The area he was guarding was the more sophisticated part of town, the go-to place to find all the multimillionaires in Japan. Marucho inhabited this part of town, as did a certain German aristocrat for part of the year.

He found the appropriate abode, and Dan entered through the grand front doors, which happened to be open. Baron appeared to be in deep conversation with the owner of the lavish house, but Dan made his presence known, pulling out his handy dandy notebook.

"I'm Officer Dan, I'll be helping with the investigation."

"You guys aren't police officers," Klaus deadpanned, and the brunette noticed a glint of irritation in his emerald eyes. He also caught the rather obvious lump on his temple, a result of yesterday's radish incident.

"We are!" Baron insisted, and Klaus appraised them for a moment before sighing. Daniel and his friend couldn't make thing worse, right?

"Fine. Thank you for coming, _officers_. My name is Mr. von Hertzen. Call me Klaus."

"Alright, Klaus, so what happened?" Dan asked.

The refined man gestured toward Baron and he eagerly volunteered to share the story. "Okay, so basically, someone broke into his house and started messing around with his things, throwing them everywhere. I think it might be related to that string of burglary calls."

Dan nodded. "Right, just hitting up the area, one by one."

"We were just about to go into the details. He was here when it happened; he _witnessed_ it."

"Alright, go ahead and tell what happened."

Klaus glanced at the expensive watch on his wrist, as if he didn't have time to waste on trivial things such as details. "I was in my sitting room, enjoying a book when I heard a disturbance coming from my fox room. I instantly contemplated the source of the—"

"W-wait, I'm sorry," Dan interrupted. "You have a fox room?"

"Like a room full of live foxes?" Baron added.

"I wouldn't have a room full of dead foxes," Klaus answered bitingly.

"Do you have a permit for that?" Dan asked. "To have wild animals in your home, that is."

"They are not wild animals. In fact, they are an endangered species."

"You know what? I've got a feeling that as long as the foxes don't leave the fox room, then it's okay." Baron decided, receiving an approving nod from his superior.

"So what happened in the fox room?" Dan asked.

"Well," Klaus began, furrowing his bow and wincing. "I arrive at my fox room, and there's a small green rabble-rouser picking up my foxes and throwing them across the room."

"He was hurling your foxes?"

"Do you doubt my words? He was picking them up and throwing them, that little green man!"

"That's cruelty to animals," Baron remarked, motioning for Dan to write that down. "It was a little green man, huh? When you say little, how little do you mean?"

They started improvising with their hands how tall the intruder was.

"That seems to be between four six, and six one," Dan concluded, jotting it down. "That's his average green height. What happened after he was hurling your foxes?"

"Well, he's finished with my foxes, and then he strolls into my hallway. He starts smashing my clay pots with his sword. The little green menace—"

"With a sword?" they both repeated incredulously.

"He's armed and dangerous," Baron reiterated. "He didn't swing at you?"

"He didn't dare come near me. He was too busy swinging at my pots, breaking everything."

Dan took note of that, crudely sketching out a misshapen sword and showing it to Klaus. "Did the sword look like that?"

He shrugged, then nodded. "They were clay average clay pots. They were Euro pots."

"Was he trying to get to these Euros that were in there?" Dan asked, feeling a breakthrough in the case.

"He was breaking my pots to get to my Euros!" Klaus accused wildly.

"What's a Euro?" Baron asked in confusion.

"Excuse me?" Klaus interjected, affronted. "Euros! They're currency."

"Currency? Okay, so we'll be looking at the currency exchange rate…" Baron trailed off as Klaus interrupted him firmly.

"You see, one euro equals 135 Japanese yen or one point five American Dollars. It's simple math."

"Klaus," Dan began. "I have a question for you, just out of curiosity. Why do you keep Euros in clay pots?"

"Where do you keep your Euros, officer?" Klaus retaliated.

"I don't have any Euros," Dan answered, confused.

A loud smashing sound was heard coming from the hallway over. Three pairs of eyes darted toward the scene, and the officers quickly made up their way into the hall. A small, hooded figure within the average green height zone glanced at them and quickly bolted for the door. They chased him into the elaborately decorated garden with Klaus in hot pursuit.

"There he is! Klaus!" Dan shouted. "There he is! Oh, radish, he just threw a radish!"

Baron, using his superior height and strength, locked his arms around the trespasser. He pulled out two shakers, using one had to point them both at his hostage.

"What, you like the _Taser_? You like it, huh?" Baron threatened.

"Uh, Klaus, you stay right there," Dan commanded, leading him to a bench. "Baron, Baron, what did I tell you?"

"Don't do that," he lamented, loosening his grip on the kid.

"Put the _Tasers_ down. First, find out if he has any paraphernalia on him, and I'll go calm down Klaus."

Baron settled the kid onto the grass. He pulled down his hood, revealing a young African boy with large, round eyes.

The millionaire stared at the offender with disdain. Dan approached cautiously, not sure whether Klaus would lash out at him or not. "We're gonna go sit down and have a little chat with this kid here. He's just a young boy, and you need to stay right there."

Klaus nodded, and Dan returned to Baron, who was looking over some notes. "I hate to see a kid going the wrong side of the path," the brunette muttered to himself.

"Are you real proud of yourself, buddy?" Dan questioned viciously, vaguely recognizing his face. _Komba_.

"It's a shame," Baron pitched in. "What has the youth of this generation come to, doing drugs all the time?"

"Let me ask you a question, little green man," Baron said. "Have you ever heard of D.A.R.E.?"

"D.A.R.E." Dan repeated. "Drugs are…"

"…really expensive." Baron finished.

"D-A-R-E. Is that why you're breaking in and stealing this educated man's Euros?"

"So you can pay for your crack?" Baron guessed.

"You know what, you should have attempted D.A.R.E." Dan advised, though it was too late. "Do you know who didn't attempt D.A.R.E.?" he paused. "Julie Makimoto."

"It's true," Baron repeated.

"I die a little bit every time I see her eat leaves." Dan remembered. "Disgusting."

Dan looked over and saw Klaus getting agitated. He left Baron to talk to Komba, reminding him not to use the _Tasers_ again.

"Now I'm just going to ask you a few more questions, and then you'll be on your way. How long have you been living here?" Dan asked a simple question first, to ease Klaus into a more stable mood.

"Every summer for five years."

"In those five years, have you ever been involved in any gangs?"

"No, of course not. I have not been involved in any gangs nor any other violent act," Klaus admitted truthfully.

"No enemies?"

"No," Klaus responded quickly.

"I need to know if you're lying." Dan warned, jotting down all the important information in his notebook.

"Klaus does not lie," he answered.

"'Klaus does not lie.' I'll write that down. Now is it Klaus with a _K_ like Kyle?"

He nodded. "It's German."

"So you've not made any enemies. You don't know of anyone who would hire a kid to break in?"

Klaus pondered this question for a moment, the obvious answer standing out in his mind. He would bet his entire fortune that Shun Kazami, ninja extraordinaire, had something to do with this. Although he wouldn't consider the stoic Brawler an enemy, he did think he had a reason or two for exacting revenge.

"There is one person."

"And that would be?"

His answer died on his lips as Baron strode over with a confused expression on his face.

"Where's Komba?" Dan wondered aloud.

"We reached an understanding," Baron replied, smiling widely.

"You let the perpetrator go?" Klaus cried indignantly.

Baron nodded, not losing the bright grin. "Yep, but it's okay because tomorrow I'm learning how to break handcuffs."

_**

* * *

**_

Originally I Komba was going to be captured along with Shun, but I decided Alice would be a better fit for this story. This is the longest chapter for this story to date…

_**Anyway, leave a review and let me know that my long, sleep-deprived hours were worth it!**_

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	11. Theme 13: The Taste You Can See

_**This one was a blast to write, so I hope you all enjoy it.**_

_**Disclaimer: No.**_

* * *

Lime…Lemon…Sweet

Daniel Kuso had a peculiar way of seeing life. Throughout his long, _meaningful_ sixteen years of existence, he'd developed the philosophy that everyone had a certain taste about them.

He liked to think of himself as spicy and flavorful, while someone like Runo was as sour as a lemon (not that he'd say that to her face). And while we were mentioning bitter people, let's throw Shun in there, too. Well, he could be sour when he wanted to be.

Then there were complete opposites, such as Joe Brown and Marucho. They were more along the lines of sweet.

Keep in mind, those were the two extremes. There were people in between, too. Dan classified Alice and Julie under than category, a blend of sugar and acid.

Of course, Dan had naively believed that people were sealed into a certain flavor forever. Little did he know that it would take one friendly conversation gone wrong to teach him that.

The day had begun innocently enough. The six Brawlers chilled at their usual location, the Misaki's restaurant, but today an excitement charged the atmosphere of the empty eatery. No, not because the fiery brunette, who had at least five stomachs, was not engorging himself with food, but simply because Joe, whom they hadn't seen in years, had decided to grace them with his presence.

The group anxiously gathered around a central booth of the café. Julie pressed her forehead against the glass window, as if that would make Joe arrive faster.

"Oh, where is he?" she wondered impatiently, making a face at her reflection.

"Julie, I just cleaned those windows, and I'm not gonna do it again just because you—" Runo began with a scowl before being interrupted by Dan.

"Chill out, Runo," he advised, leaning back in the booth and placing his hands behind his head, nearly smacking Shun who sat beside him.

"You're taking Julie's side?!" the bluenette huffed. Her boyfriend sighed. That was exactly the reason she was a lemon.

"Guys, can we please just get along until Joe gets here?" Alice pleaded from her place across from Dan.

Dan leaned forward now, folding his hands on the table. Shun inched toward the window to avoid having his eye taken out by Dan's flailing arms. "Marucho, he _is_ on his way, right?" Shun asked the younger boy, not wanting to sit through another of Runo's eardrum-shattering rants.

"I am quite positive that our friend will be arriving any moment now," the blonde responded, pushing up his red-rimmed glasses and giving the other a reassuring smile.

"Well, he'd better hurry up," Runo grumbled, plopping down next to the Pyrus Brawler.

Julie screamed suddenly. "There he is!"

A tinkling sound caught their ears and each one whirled to face the door. A casually dressed man grinned back at them, his honey-blonde hair falling into warm, gray eyes.

"Joe!" the six Brawlers shouted in unison.

Dan carefully appraised him as he joined the group in relaxed conversation. Joe's appearance hadn't changed much throughout the years, still maintaining that easygoing, childish innocence he'd always had. It always amazed Dan how he could be so tranquil in seemingly every situation that popped up. He attributed it to his sweetness, a quality that hadn't faded and still wafted over to Dan as strongly as it did when they'd met.

"You know, if it weren't for the Bakugan we never would have met you, Joe," Alice remarked, while the rest of them nodded in agreement.

"Remember that time you challenged me to a brawl?" Dan asked with a nostalgic smile, remembering the good times he'd had with Drago.

"Not really, Dan," Joe answered, and Dan looked hurt for a moment, before Joe added, "Well, I remember most of it, until I blacked out."

"Too bad you didn't get to battle Wavern," Runo lamented. "_That_ would have been something to see!"

"I concur," Marucho piped in. "Drago and Wavern were both formidable Bakugan."

Julie slammed her hands down on the table. "Guys!" she yelled shrilly. "Drago and Wavern were in love! You would have been so cruel to make them fight each other!"

Dan pretended to gag, and Runo smacked him on the arm. "Fine, fine, but it would've been fun to see Wavern and Skyress go at it, right, Shun?" Dan conceded, turning to the quiet ninja.

"I think we all know who would have won if Skyress and Wavern had battled," Shun replied, smirking slightly.

Joe nodded with a friendly smile. "Wavern," he answered at the same time that Shun voiced his former Bakugan's name. The two guys stared at each other for a minute before laughing away the tension. Everyone joined in nervously, multiple pairs of eyes shifting between the Haos and Ventus users.

Dan glanced at his best friend, knowing well that he tended to be competitive. Then he turned his attention to the mellow adult. Joe seemed as calm as ever, though there was a flavor in his eyes that Dan couldn't place. Spiciness? Lemon-lime?

No, that couldn't be it. Joe just didn't have that flavor. But there was _something_ there, something other than sweetness, and he was going to figure it out.

It was only a matter of time before Shun's sour side showed, too. Shun did always pride himself Skyress's power, and he'd defend her through thick and thin.

"Skyress would have kicked major butt," Dan voiced, hoping to get a reaction out of one of them.

Joe calmly shook his head. "I think Wavern would have defeated Skyress."

There it was. Out in the open. The Brawler's exchanged worried glances, feeling the maelstrom brewing below Joe and Shun's collected expressions.

Inwardly, Dan allowed himself a wicked smile. He saw the agitation in Joe's eyes, and the determination in Shun's.

"No way." Shun retorted, extracting himself from the booth and standing beside the group with a frown on his face. "Skyress was evolved."

"I'll give you that," Joe compromised. "Wavern did have the Infinity Core, though."

"Bet she wasn't as strong without it," he shot back fluidly, his smirk reappearing as Joe's brow furrowed.

_That hit a nerve_, Dan thought to himself, watching the anger that flickered across Joe's face.

Minutes passed in uptight silence. The girls, and Marucho, stared at the arguing Brawlers in disbelief. Two of the most composed people they knew were fighting. Surely, they had to be imagining it.

"Are you picking a fight, Shun?" Joe asked slowly. Shun remained quiet, calculating his response before voicing it. Joe continued. "Because if you are, then I suggest we take this outside."

A collective gasp filled the restaurant. Dan pinched himself, just to make sure he was actually seeing Joe get riled up. Man, he wished he had a camera. The hints of spice were beginning to show through his sweet façade, and Shun was helping him out without even knowing it!

"Sorry, I don't hit girls," Shun answered evenly. Dan had to admit that Shun had a point. Joe was a tad effeminate sometimes. Joe stood up suddenly, fists clenched and angry frown in place.

"At least, I didn't look like one," he argued, referring to the long-hair phase that Shun had gone through when they were younger. Dan chuckled, remembering how Shun _did_ look like a girl when he had his hair down.

Shun gritted his teeth. "It's on, Webmaster Joe," he hissed, taking a menacing step forward.

"It's been on," he snapped, coming forward as well. "Let's settle this like real men…"

"Fight, fight, fight!" Dan cheered, but quickly shut up when the others stared at him oddly.

"Yeah, fight!" Runo called out after a while and everyone except the two guys in question joined in.

"Looks like the crowd wants a show, Joe," Shun pointed out, and then he breathed out the forbidden word. "_Tic-tac-toe."_

"Oh, of course, you can have a _Tic Tac_, Joe," Julie replied, fishing out the candy from her purse.

They ignored her, and Shun whispered threateningly, "I have the pen and paper, and I'm the O's."

Dan laughed when Shun humiliating lost the match, and Joe's sourness shined through when he bragged about his win. These men, however, were not done yet.

"Checkmate," Shun declared, after capturing Joe's king.

"I sunk your battleship," Joe gloated.

"You went bankrupt, Joe, and not only that, you go to jail," Shun announced, tossing Joe's piece onto the Jail space for fun.

Dan merely shook his head as they competed to see who was the best. He'd definitely learned his lesson.

One: don't call Shun a girl.

Two: First they're sweet, then they're sour.

_**

* * *

**_

Well, this one was a little…weird, but I liked it. Did you? Huh, did ya?

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	12. Theme 14: Just Add Grandpa

__

**Another update, this one a bit belated and (hopefully) much anticipated. A lot of craziness in this one. Some disturbing themes, so reader discretion is advised. Fun stuff, though :D**

* * *

**Just Add Grandpa**

**Roasted Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Gum...**

Most people knew Dan as an expert brawler, but what they didn't know about him was that he loved pudding.

And whoever didn't know that obviously lived deep in the core of the earth and had never ventured to the surface world.

Dan's passion for pudding almost exceeded his passion for brawling, which was why he'd decided that instead of brawling Shun that day, he'd pass by his house to pick up some pudding the ninja had promised him. It had taken some serious thought which culminated in a coin toss. Heads, brawl. Tails, pudding. Lady Luck wished for Dan to have pudding, and so he would. Besides, it wasn't often that his stoic ninja friend invited him over, especially not twice in one day.

Whistling a merry tune and imagining the two free meals Shun was offering him, the Pyrus Brawler crunched his way along the gravel driveway leading up to the massively unnecessary walls that surrounded Shun's property. They gleamed a pearly white in the morning sun, a stark contrast to the dark oak gates locked in the middle.

"Hey! Shun! You home?" he called, taking a few steps back in an attempt to look over the walls.

When there was no response, he frowned, rolling up his sleeves to climb the ridiculously large wall. Instead, he heard a whirring sound, followed by wheezing. Perplexed, Dan pushed on the gates, surprised to see them bend to his will and open.

"That's weird," he whispered to himself. Shun would always leave the gates unlocked, but Grandpa insisted on keeping them locked at all times. This usually led to Shun unlocking them and Grandpa locking them only moments later.

Shrugging it off as a momentary lapse on Grandpa's part (he was getting old, anyway) Dan entered just as the whirring began again. It sounded as if it was coming from a chainsaw, the thrumming continuing rhythmically. In fact, Dan thought, Shun was probably just trimming his hedges with it. It's not like Shun ever did anything productive–or normal. Good thing, too, since Dan couldn't see any one through the dense foliage of the dojo's garden.

He called out again, but no one answered. The sound was pretty loud, so maybe Shun just couldn't hear him. Dan stalked forward, fully prepared to ambush Shun, when a guttural scream froze him in his tracks. His eyes zoned in on a lean shadow, conspicuous against the white walls. Its arms were raised, a sharp-looking tool vibrating in its hands. The chainsaw came down fast, drops of something flying in all directions. A silent horrified scream died on Dan's lips as it came down again and again, groans accompanying each slash.

Dan backed away, stumbling over his own feet and falling to the ground. He righted himself as quickly as his adrenaline-filled body could. He had to get away. There was no telling what Shun would do to him with that thing in his hands. His eyes scanned the dirt, trying to catch Shun's shadow on the ground since he couldn't see him. Instead, he saw skid marks, almost as if someone had been dragged.

Willing himself to focus, Dan ran back to the gates, his mind racing to find an explanation for what he'd seen. Shun had the chainsaw, that much he knew, but what–or who–was he attacking? It could've been anyone.

Anyone that was around often and that no one would miss if he mysteriously disappeared.

And that meant it could only have been one person.

Dan swallowed grimly, back pressed firmly against the outside of the white walls. He chanced a look down and saw the clues that confirmed his suspicions.

A lone gum wrapper. A half-chewed piece of green gum beside it. A pair of dentures.

-X-

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God," Dan chanted, running shaky hands through his messy hair that was infinitely more messy due to the constant action. He quickened his pace, checking behind him every few steps to make sure Shun wasn't following him. Dan was the only witness. Shun could have hired a hitman to off him ages ago, and Dan would take the secret to his grave.

The thought made him burst into a sprint. He had to get to someone, someone he could tell and who would believe him no matter what.

And he knew just where to go.

-X-

He paced outside the Misaki restaurant a few times, trying to figure out the best way to word his predicament. He had to be subtle, yet confident.

He took a breath...

...pulled open the door and...

"Shun murdered his grandpa, and I'm a witness! He's after me! God, someone help me! Hide me! Anyone! Yes, you with the purse...what–I'm not crazy! No, you can't do this to me! Let me go! Runo! My ear!"

With another tug on his ear, the irate waitress dumped the boy onto the sidewalk, curious pedestrians stopping only long enough to catch Runo's glare.

"What is wrong with you?" she hissed, smacking him on the head for emphasis.

He glowered. "Hey, you should be consoling me, not hurting me! I just had a mentally-scarring experience, and suddenly I'm the bad guy?"

"Dan," she spat. "Don't even try to make yourself the victim. You're the one spouting some nonsense about who-knows-what."

He backed away, affronted. "I know what I saw. There was a chainsaw and screaming and blood." He paused, wondering why Runo did not look convinced. "Plus, I found this."

Dan dug around in his pockets for a moment before producing the gum he'd found, wrapped in its original packaging.

"It's a piece of gum that I'm sure Grandpa was chewing before Shun...before the accident."

"Did you pick that up off the floor?"

"Yes, but it's a clue, so the five second rule doesn't count. It's not like I chewed it."

"Still, that doesn't prove anything," Runo argued. "It could have been Shun's."

Dan laughed dryly. "Does that explain why I found dentures next to it? I'm pretty sure Shun does not use those. Besides, Shun doesn't chew _Five_ gum. It's too artificial for him."

Runo sighed, leaning against the window. "Dan, it doesn't make any sense. Why would Shun kill his grandpa? He's his only family."

"For the deed to the dojo, the money, the power," Dan recited as if it were the simplest fact in the world. "The freedom."

She eyed him uncertainly. "Right. But Shun invited everyone over for dinner tonight."

The boy narrowed his eyes in concentration. "Hmm, I guess I hadn't thought about that, but tonight, be on the lookout for suspicious behavior. I'll let the others know."

-X-

Dan scaled the white walls with some effort, binoculars draped around his neck, humming the theme song to _Mission: Undoable_. He heaved himself up, putting the binoculars to his eyes and exploring the grounds inch by inch. He spotted Shun pulling a back bag out of the house, and Dan's breath caught in his throat.

He was disposing of the remains, the scoundrel!

Dan took a close look at the bag, wondering why it seemed so small if it was carrying a body. Shun tossed it into the trash can as if it weighed no more than five pounds, pausing to peruse the walls with a puzzled look. Dan made himself flat against the walls, ducking as low as he could without falling off. After not locating any sign of threat, Shun shrugged and made his way inside.

Dan heaved a sigh of relief, using the binoculars to check on Shun's position. He was in the kitchen, adding spices to a large, unrecognizable slab of meat. The Pyrus user blanched as he realized just what exactly Shun had in mind for dinner.

-X-

The five brawlers filed into the dojo with military stiffness, like soldiers under the scrutinizing eye of the general. They each offered a half-hearted bow to their host, sharing uneasy looks as Dan led the way to the dining room. Shun closed the door behind them, falling in step with the others.

Dan would occasionally glance over his shoulder, keeping one eye on Shun. _'Look at him_,' he thought disgustedly. '_Walking and smiling as if he hadn't just murdered his own blood_.' Dan sighed with contempt, a tiny part of him still slightly unwilling to accept that his grandpa was dead.

"Make yourselves at home," Shun smiled. "I'll be right out with the food."

He made a move to return to the kitchen, but Runo's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Will your grandpa be joining us for dinner?" she asked innocently, still unbelieving of Dan's accusations.

He turned slightly to look her in the eye. "You could say that." Then he disappeared into the kitchen.

As soon as he was gone, Dan leaned into the others, whispering fiercely, "See? I told you guys. Now do you believe me?"

The rest of the group hesitated before nodding, wide-eyed and mouth agape. They whispered to one another furiously, sharing ideas on why Shun had committed such a heinous crime. Was it Shun's initiation into a gang? Had Grandpa planned it out and wanted it this way? Or was Shun a vampire that feasted on the blood on the old to stay young? The questions kept piling up and still, they had no answers.

Shun entered again in record time, decking the table in a banquet fit for kings and nobles. He lit candles to bring an air of sophistication to the dinner. He seated everyone according to an arrangement he'd drawn up himself, drawing a chair out for each lady and seating her. A roast sat in the middle of the table, warm and with an irresistible fresh-out-of-the-oven odor. A creamy gravy was set out beside the meat, along with the most appetizing mashed potatoes Dan had ever seen in his life. Dan had to remind himself that it would be wrong and disrespectful to touch what Shun planned to feed him.

"Dig in, guys," Shun finally said, seating himself at the head of the table. There was only one empty chair, located directly across from Shun.

He watched his friends stare emptily at the food before them. How come no one was eating? He'd labored for hours to put the meal together. And all this for what? For his friends to stare and shove his good-natured attempts right back in his face?

Oh, _no._ No one showed him disrespect and got away with it. Ever.

Shun moved forward with his plan, calm and calculating. "Are you guys not hungry?"

The group remained silent, eyeing him out of the corner of their eyes, tossing the idea of Shun being a killer around in their heads. He had that look, that one that always seemed to know what your next move would be before you knew yourself. He was secretive. He was a _ninja_. What other evidence did they need?

Shun tried again, this time less tactfully. "It's delicious. I caught and skinned the animal myself."

There was a collective gasp and a whoosh of air as Alice fainted.

Marucho jumped into action, fanning his tiny hands in front of her face to get her back to consciousness.

Shun's amber gaze shifted between Dan's uncharacteristic lack of appetite and the fainted redhead. No more tact. "Okay, just what is going on here?"

The breezy room drowned in silence. Dan picked up his fork and dropped it onto his china plate for effect. The clatter was deafening. His chair scraped loudly across the tile floor as he stood.

"What is going on here?" Dan mocked cynically, his voice rising with every word. "How can you feed us this and expect us not to notice?"

Shun stood to meet Dan's challenge. "What are you talking about? I've been slaving away all day to prepare this and suddenly it's not good enough for you?"

Dan laughed bitterly. "No, it's not! How do you expect me to eat something near and dear to me?" his voice quivered with raw emotion, tears brimming in his eyes. "It's wrong."

"I'm pretty sure you weren't near or dear to any of the animals on my property," Shun remarked. "And even if you were, it was a very humane end for it."

"I won't eat my grandpa!" And there was the elephant in the room.

"...what? Are you insane?" Shun shouted, grabbing Dan by the shoulders and shaking him. "It's a wild turkey, Dan. I can show you the freaking feathers."

"A likely story!" he spat, pulling free. "What's in these mashed potatoes, anyway? Did you just grind up his bones and add water to get rid of all the evidence?"

"I did nothing to the old geezer. He had it coming."

Dan turned away from his best friend, hissing, "A confession? You sicken me, Shun. Your grandpa was ten times the man you'll ever be."

Just as Shun was preparing to beat some sense into the younger boy–because, really, a comment comparing you to your senile and domineering grandpa does nothing for an ego–a groan so loud and painful erupted from the ceiling of the house. The rest of the group that had wisely remained silent during the screaming match now bunched up into a corner of the room.

"See what you've done?" Dan asked Shun. "You've stopped Grandpa from crossing over to the other world. He's become a ghost that will forever haunt the dojo!"

Shun sighed with uncharacteristic weariness, running a hand through his jet black hair. Why did he have friends like these again?

The groans were coming from the stairs now, closer and intensifying with each passing second. The last few moments before the ghost appeared were quiet, each one waiting for the moment when the apparition would come take its revenge.

"You've done it now, Shun!" Dan warned, backing away from him. "Grandpa is gonna kick your–whaaat?"

Grandpa–in the flesh, alive and kicking–walked into the room, hand on his lower back, groaning all the way into the kitchen. He groaned once more before abruptly stopping and then smacking his lips with satisfaction.

"Shun, we are out of aspirin. Run to the store and fetch some more!" he shouted, coming back into the room full of terrified children. His beady eyes took in the scene. "Why did you start terrorizing without me? I thought we'd agreed it would be a family endeavor."

"No, Gramps," the younger ninja sighed. "I said that if you wanted to terrorize, then that was fine, but I wouldn't do it. I also heard you say you were in too much pain to terrorize my friends."

"I don't remember saying such things at all!"

"Yes, I clearly remem–"

"Okay, stop!" Dan shouted, interrupting the family squabble, and pointing at the two of them. "Wha–why–eh?"

Marucho stepped up. "Dan is wondering why your Grandpa's still alive, Shun."

"What? I may have thrown out my back, but I'm still full of life. I'm in my prime!" Grandpa argued hotly.

"B–But I saw you, Shun, and the chainsaw, and the blood and...and...why is he still alive!" Dan stammered, the concept too confusing for his head.

"Simple: Grandpa had been cutting the hedges, but he threw out his back while doing so, meaning I had to step in and finish the job. I don't know what gave you the idea that I'd killed him, and even if I had, I have better ways of disposing of bodies," Shun explained.

"Really?" Dan questioned eagerly. "Will you show me?"

"Sure. If you're dead you can't see anything, though."

"...I hate you."

"I hate you more."

Grandpa sighed. "I hate all of you."

Dan sniffled, whispering sadly, "What?"

* * *

**_And now, faithful reader, please leave your opinion of the events you just read in a review~! I might've deviated from the theme a bit, hehe_**

**_Cocoacharm15_**


	13. Theme 18: Coffee's for Closers

_**Hello, good readers! This is another installment of insanity for your enjoyment, though it probably entertains me a lot more. I hope this one is to everyone's liking! I warn you: it is eccentric.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Bakugan, nor Lipton, and I don't own Randumdprod. If you don't know them, I suggest you check them out!**_

* * *

**Blame It**

_Cream, Coffee, Good Morning..._

The dojo's tiled roof glistened in the early morning sunlight. Dew had collected on the deciduous trees littering the landscape. Other than a few birdcalls, the vicinity was silent. The scene is placid.

But wait.

Something breaks the calm of the picture, slicing through the icy stillness with deadly precision.

A blur of green rushes along the path, leaving clouds of dust in his wake. His momentum is unstoppable, his energy infinite, and his concentration unbreakable by anything...

...except the occasional ninja-rolling Dan.

The green shape crashes ungracefully to the ground, the red-clad Brawler getting to his feet. Steps quickly approached, and an aging warrior stumbled–quite literally–onto the scene. His confused gaze shifted between his grandson and his obnoxious friend, not quite understanding what they were doing on the path.

"Grandpa!" Dan cheered, grinning from ear to ear, clutching a package to his chest. "I was just showing Shun here some of my moves."

The aforementioned boy, disgruntled and dusty, set himself upright and glared at Dan. It was a natural reaction to most everything that the boy did. "Dan, what are you doing here? At six in the morning? On a Saturday?"

He shrugged, throwing his arm around Grandpa's shoulders and shifting the parcel to his other arm. "Well, good morning to you, too. How about we go back to the dojo and talk about this?"

He began to lead the old man back the way he'd come, and Shun trailed behind them in resignation. He could only wonder what Dan had in mind this time.

Grandpa opened the front door of the dojo, and Dan ran in, straight toward the kitchen, evading traps out of sheer luck.

"I brought you guys coffee," Dan announced cheerfully, tearing open his bundle and revealing a plastic container. The aroma of ground coffee wafted over to the young ninja standing in the doorway, and his nose wrinkled at its potency. The sun's rays were barely beginning to creep over the horizon, and Shun took it as a bad sign that Dan was here so early.

"Why are you here?" he asked pointedly, coming around to the Pyrus Brawler who was busy sniffing the coffee, while his friend held his nose.

"Can't I just drop by to visit my best friend and my grandpa?" Dan retorted indignantly, pausing to examine some coffee beans in his palm.

"You're not my grandson." Grandpa deadpanned.

Dan's shocked expression seemed almost genuine. "Grandpa, how could you betray me?! After all the trouble I went through to bring you coffee, you do this to me? You're just like my parents."

"They finally abandoned you?" Shun guessed cynically.

He shrugged, forgetting his rage altogether in favor of looking for the coffee machine. "Something like that."

The trio didn't say anything, waiting for Dan to volunteer more information. He didn't. Instead, he poured water into the coffee maker he'd dug out from behind the toaster.

"Okay, so they didn't_ really _abandon me," he admitted after some time. "My mom and dad went to a pudding convention, so they told me to find someone I could stay with for a few days. I figured that since you _are_ my best friend Shun, and since you enjoy my company so much, that you wouldn't mind keeping me here."

Grandpa's bushy eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. One angsty teenage boy was hard enough to deal with, but two? An attentive grandparent could only do so much, especially when he didn't even know who the other boy was.

Shun's throat felt dry. "How long?" he croaked.

"Eh, no more than two weeks."

He sank to the floor. Two weeks with Dan. It couldn't get much worse than this. As soon as he thought this, however, he retracted his mental statement, merely because whenever someone said that, things tended to get worse.

At that moment, Dan turned to look at him with an expression of concern. "Are you okay, Shun? You're looking a little pale. Coffee?" Dan asked, holding out the container of ground caffeine.

"No thanks."

"Coffee?"

"I'm fine."

"Coffee?"

"It's cool, man."

"Coffee?"

Shun sighed. "Sure."

"Regular?"

"Decaf."

"Regular?"

"Decaf."

"Regular?"

"Fine, I'll have regular."

Dan chuckled lightheartedly. "Well, Gramps, looks like Shun like regular!" Grandpa eyed him warily, already disliking the visit. Ninjas didn't drink coffee. They drank herbal tea. This...this stranger was poisoning his grandson. It didn't stop there, though, because Dan proceeded to pull out another item from his ever-expanding package.

"Here's some cream, if you don't want to drink your coffee black," he offered, setting the item down on the floor next to Shun and handing him a full mug. It was hazelnut-flavored, according to the bottle.

"I don't think so," Shun stated simply, getting up and leaving the mug and creamer behind. "I hope you have a good morning, but I refuse to drink that."

He had nothing else to say to Dan, and he made his way out of the room, leaving his Grandpa behind to deal with the terror. Dan slowly faced his adoptive grandparent.

"Do _you_ want coffee?"

Gramps stared for a second before zooming out of the room, and catching Dan's last words shouted at him. "You don't have to use the cream!"

Little did they realize that they'd just posed a challenge for Dan, and as most everyone knew, challenges were his obsession. He would never stop, and this time he would do whatever it took to convert Shun and his grandpa into coffee-drinking maniacs.

Or something along those lines.

---

The first opportunity to strike arose not ten minutes later.

"The economy's not good. Japan has a ten percent unemployment rate," Grandpa noted to himself while reading the newspaper and scratching his chin thoughtfully.

Dan appeared at his side in an instant. "You know why that is? It's because they don't drink coffee."

Gramps raised an eyebrow and turned back to his paper.

---

Shun hung up the phone, placing it on a nearby table with a sigh. "I just denied Julie another loan. Again."

"Perk up, champ," Dan consoled, patting him on the shoulder. "If you drank coffee, she wouldn't be asking you for money."

---

"I don't have any poison darts," Grandpa lamented in his weapon room.

"It's because you don't drink coffee," Dan informed him, eyeing the katanas.

---

"Herbal tea prices are so high!" Shun groaned.

"You know what? You should drink coffee." Dan replied. "It's cheaper."

---

"I can't find my_ shurikens_." Grandpa rummaged through the living room, shoving furniture out of his way.

"Grandpa, drink coffee! Drink coffee!"

---

"Baron just bought a house!" Shun exclaimed in astonishment, reading from an e-mail he'd sent.

"He drinks coffee!"

---

Grandpa sipped his glass of milk, spitting it out immediately. "Ugh, this milk is bad!"

"This cream _isn't_ bad." Dan proceeded to pour the cream into his cup.

---

"I gained three pounds?!"

Dan looked down at the scale Shun was standing on. "Drink coffee and lose weight."

---

Grandpa opened a cupboard, expecting to find a package of tea. "We're all out of instant Lipton!"

"Drink coffee!"

---

"How many times do I have to deny someone's friend request before they get the message?" Shun asked himself in annoyance.

"Shun, I'm sure that they'd find you less attractive if you drank coffee."

---

"Ah, my butt itches!"

"The lack of coffee strikes again, Grandpa!"

---

"My girlfriend broke up with me...over an e-mail," Shun moaned.

Dan nodded at his side. "It's probably because you don't drink coffee."

Glare.

---

"I just misspelled 'indefinitely'," Gramps pointed out.

"Coffee."

---

"Where are the _kunais_?" Shun shouted.

"Drink coffee," Dan answered lazily.

"Well, throw them over here."

....

"Ow."

---

"I have to wait forty-five minutes for my denture cream?!"

"Drink some coffee in the meantime."

---

"My grandpa just got hit by a car!" Shun shouted.

"It's because he...doesn't drink coffee?"

---

He proved his point about the benefits of coffee, and Grandpa became a believer, although Shun still despised the dark liquid and its creamy additive. All in all, for Dan, it was a good morning, and he couldn't be more happy for choosing to stay with Shun.

_**

* * *

**_

Feel free to drop me a line and review!

_**Oh, and check out "Last Drop (the Starbucks song)" on Youtube. It's a good song!**_

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	14. Theme 19: Public Enemies

_**Here's the next one. This one features a scene requested by jjb88 (tweaked it a bit, but hope you still like it!). **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own nor have any affiliation with the makers of Bakugan (TMS Entertainment).**_

* * *

Salad…Burgers…Calories

Shun stared out the restaurant window, leaning his head onto his hand. The clear blue sky offered somewhat of a distraction from the clamor inside. Next to him sat Marucho, eagerly describing the latest advancement in computer technology and the like. Dan, across from Shun, nodded, finishing what had to be his third plate of food.

"Hey, Runo, can I get another round over here?" Shun heard him call out. "Do you want anything, Shun?"

The ninja shook his head, glancing over at the three apron-clad girls running around the restaurant in a frenzy. "Again?" she shouted back, taking someone else's order a booth away.

"Oh, I'll get it for you, Dan," Julie sang as she delivered an order, not forgetting to wink at the customer. Alice ran back and forth between the kitchen and the front counter cleaning and preparing food with a tired smile.

Soon Dan had another steaming pile of calories in front of him. Dan's voracious appetite, it seemed, knew no bounds. Shun could feel the heat wafting off the plate as he made a face at it. The blonde millionaire took note, also grimacing at the Pyrus Brawler.

"You know, Marucho, Dan makes eating look…unappetizing," Shun remarked, sighing when his meek insult didn't catch Dan's attention.

"I must agree." Marucho focused on the brunette. "Dan, are you aware of the number of calories you've ingested in the last hour?"

The addressed boy stopped eating only to scoff at his younger friend. "You sound like Julie," he said between mouthfuls of…something. It was hard to tell when it was in Dan's mouth. Shun breathed out another sigh, not remembering the reason he'd agreed to hang out with Dan in the first place. _Whatever it was_, he thought, _it better have been good_.

Marucho, rather put off by Dan's eating, turned to Shun for conversation. Well, it was mostly him talking with Shun nodding and occasionally adding his own input.

The morning zipped past in this fashion until the brunch crowd cleared out of the eatery and the females of the group took a break. Dan exhaled sharply, groaning as he pushed the latest empty plate away.

"Man, I'm stuffed," he advertised to no one in particular. Shun looked over from his mildly interesting conversation with the child prodigy disbelievingly. How could he ever fill the black hole he had for a stomach?

"Finally!" Runo exclaimed, throwing off her apron and putting it away. "You're gonna put us out of business with all the free food you eat." She walked over and sat in the booth behind him, leaning over the seat.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy!" the sixteen year-old retorted, standing up to his five foot seven height. "Besides, it's a good thing you guys don't have burgers, or else you might've been right, Runo."

Dan had been craving a nice, juicy burger ever since Shun eaten the last of his pudding. Since his mom refused to make more, insisting that Dan was a "big boy" and could do it himself, he figured that the only thing that could quench his thirst for pudding was a burger. A twisted logic, but it made sense to Dan.

Julie screamed theatrically from her seat by the counter, lifting the back of her hand to her forehead with a flourish. "Danny! Do you know how many calories are in those things?"

"No, and I don't want to know. Food is food, and it's meant to be eaten," he replied, sliding out of the booth.

"You really should be more prudent about what you eat, Dan," Alice advised knowingly, stepping out from behind the counter for the first time in hours and joining Julie.

"You, too, Alice?"

Shun saw his chance to pounce, so to speak, on Dan. It's not like he disliked him—well, not most of the time—but he found it funny to rile up his childhood friend.

"If I were you, I'd listen to Alice," he commented with a smirk, also getting up. "Look at that gut."

"What?" he shouted indignantly.

"Yeah, I doubt you could plow through those extreme training sessions of yours in that condition." Runo chimed in, the Brawlers sharing a laugh.

He glowered at them, crossing his arms. "Oh, yeah? Let's go then!"

Dan charged out of the restaurant, his red jacket billowing behind him as he ran at full speed down the street. The Brawlers exchanged weary looks before following. Today was going to be a long day.

---

The spring sun's rays continued to beat down on the land, keeping the temperature at a perfect level. The cloudless sky invited people to frolic whimsically outside and escape the confines of humanity. Everything seemed to be at peace in the universe. Our favorite Brawlers had decided to take advantage of this opportunity and mingle with the breeze.

Too bad all was not perfect in paradise. And if by some weird twist of fate, it seemed ideal, it wouldn't take very much to recreate hell.

The exhausted boy ran the back of his hand across his forehead, wiping away the accumulated sweat. Runo collapsed on the grassy knoll overlooking the lake, her face flushed. Julie, claiming flip-flops and halter tops weren't exercise compatible, sat next to Alice. Said redhead looked bored in merely watching the others, since Julie also asserted that she needed someone to accompany her. Marucho caught up with the Dan, leaning onto his knees and panting heavily, his blonde hair sticking to his forehead.

The stoic member of the group, however, seemed unfazed by the fifteen laps he'd completed around the lake. Instead, he stared in annoyance at his messy-haired friend.

"Dan," he sighed. "You said fifteen laps. You've done three."

"I'm just warming up, Shun," he replied, jogging in place once again and taking off to finish his laps.

He continued running in circles, determined to wipe the smirk of off Shun's face. Dan's labored breathing got the best of him by the tenth lap, forcing him to stop and rest again. Marucho, had quit while he was ahead, completing the laps and sitting beside Runo.

"You're a wuss, Dan!" Runo yelled at him from across the lake. He shouted something back angrily, and though the sound was lost, the glower accompanying it wasn't. Dan dashed past them again and again until he had "finished." He had shaved off about three laps, but no one was counting, right?

"Ha, done! And you guys…said I…couldn't do it." He taunted, in between breaths. "In your face, Shun!"

Shun stood up, walking over with the same smirk. "You didn't do all the laps," he challenged, amber eyes drilling into his mahogany ones.

Dan laughed nervously. "Of course, I did!"

Shun eyed him suspiciously before giving in. "Fine."

The brunette smiled cheekily, a plot forming in his head to exact revenge on his friend for doubting him.

"Hey, Shun?" he called innocently when he began to walk away. Reluctantly, the ninja walked back, staring expectantly at Dan.

With reflexes that impressed even Shun, Dan shoved the older boy into the water, shouting, "Take that!"

Unfortunately for Dan, his plan backfired—or back_watered_—since the splash managed to leave him sopping wet, too. Shun's dark, denim jacket and tight jeans were thoroughly soaked, and he rose out of the water, glaring murder at Dan.

Being wet didn't stop the Pyrus Brawler from cracking up, though. Or the rest of them, for that matter.

---

Approximately three hours later, the Brawlers had effectively stopped the two boys from tearing each other to shreds. Well, they stopped Shun from maiming Dan, but not from insulting him. Dan grudgingly went home to bring Shun a change of clothes, and they now sat on the green hill, observing as ducks waddled by, crawling into the lake one by one. The sunlight glittered across the water in the early afternoon.

"Are you guys getting hungry?" Dan asked, breaking away from the serene moment and eliciting a groan from his friends.

"Dan, do you ever think about something other than food?" Runo questioned irritably.

"We've gone over this, Runo," he reminded. "Come on, guys. I know this great burger joint that has—"

"No, way, Danny!" Julie interrupted shrilly. "Every burger has, like, six thousand calories each!"

He shook his head adamantly. "No way. Burgers only have _five_ thousand calories."

Her indigo eyes widened, horrified. "I'd rather have a salad, thank you very much."

"Sorry, Julie, they don't sell salads at that place. They only sell _real_ food, like beef jerky and fried chicken, not those leaves that you call food." Dan huffed, extending the invitation to the rest of them.

"Actually, a salad sounds nice," Alice agreed. "I hope you don't mind, Dan, but I'm with Julie."

He narrowed his eyes at the copper-haired girl. "Marucho? Runo? Shun?"

The millionaire shuffled uncomfortably. "I'm not in the mood for burgers," Marucho admitted, stepping over next to the two girls. The divide between the two groups was becoming clearer, the space between them becoming a no-man's land.

"I guess I'll go with you," Runo decided, walking over to his side.

Shun was left, glancing between the two groups. "Well, Shun?" Dan pressed. He knew Shun would choose to come with him. They were buds, brothers, partners.

He took a breath, and everyone inhaled sharply. "I'm going with these guys."

Dan nodded slowly, digesting the information. "Fine," he said. "Just fine." He grabbed Runo's hand and began to walk away. Then he whirled around, bellowing, "Have fun with your zero-calorie leaves, you traitors!"

The four Brawlers stood still, watching as Dan and Runo's figures faded in the distance.

"Hey, want to go get a deep-dish pizza?" Shun asked.

They burst into grins. "Yeah!"

_**

* * *

**_

Good? Bad? Let me know! Review!

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	15. Theme 22: Drago Jones

X_X

**_What a wait! It's been a really long time, but I hope I haven't lost my touch just yet. This idea was provided by Doomburger and I hope you find it as enjoyable as I did~!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't want to own Bakugan anymore._**

* * *

**Drago Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Cookies**  
**Theme: Popsicles, Sherbet, Cold...**

"Okay, time to get my game on!" Dan shouted, bursting into the kitchen. A shiny camera, courtesy of a certain blonde millionaire, was gripped tightly in the young boy's hands. Drago, the unfortunate partner to the hyperactive brunette, made his way into the kitchen at his leisure, struggling to keep in a sigh.

"You _do_ realize that this has nothing to do with what your mother asked of you, right?" he questioned, resigned, no matter what Dan's response may be, to certain humiliation.

"Of course it does, buddy," was his reply as he tried to figure out how to turn on the device. "All she said was 'I need you in the kitchen,' and in case you haven't noticed, Drago, we_ are_ in the kitchen."

"She also said something about cookies," the Dragonoid mumbled grumpily.

"Eh, we'll get to those when we get to those. Right now we have to start filming or we're not gonna get done today."

Drago released his pent up sigh. "Yes, let's get this over with."

* * *

Sometimes Drago just wished that he'd been partnered up with someone less enthusiastic, or at the very least, someone less stubborn. It was a truth universally acknowledged that Dan in possession of an outrageous idea must be in want of an accomplice.

And Drago happened to be that–unwilling–accomplice.

All it took was a few incriminating photos of the Pyrus Bakugan, which will remain undisclosed for the moment. It happened like this every time, and you'd think Drago would learn to be more secretive. Unfortunately for him, no matter how much Drago tried stay incognito, Dan was an expert at finding items to use as blackmail. Something about having a close-lipped ninja as a best friend for years had honed such skills.

Dan went about his business, checking the lighting, fiddling with the items on the kitchen counter and dressing his characters. He presented a tiny felt hat and a piece of string to Drago.

"What are these for?" the Dragoniod rumbled, eyeing the offending materials warily.

"It's a fedora and a whip."

His emerald gaze shifted between the two items. "...what?"

Dan sighed. "Drago, this is a movie, so we gotta have some awesome props. How else is it supposed to be believable?"

"It's not," Drago deadpanned.

"You have such a negative attitude, but just you wait, Drago. This is going to be a masterpiece," his partner replied confidently, setting the camera on a tripod. Drago reluctantly donned the ridiculous hat and secured the "whip" to one of his stubby appendages. He had no choice but to play along. He couldn't have _those _pictures leaked out onto the internet. What would the neighbor's say? In fact, forget the neighbors, what would his teammates say? He'd never be able to show his face again if they found out!

While he worried about his reputation, he missed Preyas' dramatic entrance through the kitchen window. The pigeon he'd hitched a ride on cooed softly before being shooed out by its master. Dan and Drago looked up in unison at the approaching Bakugan.

"Heya, Draggy and Dan!" shouted the ever-enthusiastic Bakugan. "What's with the getup? Are you going to a costume party?"

Dan's face brightened tenfold, an idea unfolding itself in his mind. "This is great! Preyas, you can be in our movie as Drago's faithful sidekick."

"Oh boy, a movie! I've always wanted to be an actor!" he gushed. He deepened his voice to add somberly, "To be or not to be...that is the question."

Dan laughed. "You're a natural. You're perfect for my non-scripted, non-rehearsed, and unconventional movie."

Yes, Daniel believed it was best to improvise the entire thing. He was a firm believer in Drago's acting abilities, which, in his mind, rivaled his battle abilities. Besides, blindly rushing forward hadn't failed him yet. To his credit, Dan had somewhat of a plot for his endeavor.

"Okay, Drago," he began, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "I'm going to be on the verge of death due to some incurable disease, and only a journey all the way across the kitchen to find the popsicle-sherbet flower native to the icy tundra of the freezer will save me."

"But that doesn't make any sense, Daniel. Flowers don't grow on icy tundras," Drago protested, a last ditch effort to escape the task at hand.

The brunette glared, explaining with annoyance, "These are special flowers. That's why they're going to save me!"

Another sigh.

"Do I get a cool outfit, too?" Preyas asked.

Dan frowned. "Well, no, but you do get a cool name. From now on, you, Preyas, shall be Short Round."

"Okay!"

Dan clicked the record button, adjusting the camera so it faced the counter top Drago and Preyas were perched on. The Dragonoid sighed for the umpteenth time, and Preyas trembled giddily.

"Aaand ac–Mom?"

Eyes widening marginally, he stared at his mother in the doorway of the kitchen, doing his best to look innocent. Mrs. Kuso marched in, hair half-curled and make-up rudimentarily applied to one eye. "I thought I asked you to make cookies," she stated, eyeing the camera pointedly.

"I know, and I was just getting started on those," he lied, inching to stand in front of the Bakugan.

"Dan, the guests will be arriving in within the hour, and we need our world famous Upside Down Chocolate Chip Pudding Cookies."

Dan nodded solemnly, remembering what a hit the cookies had been at his mother's last dinner party, so much so that the guests had completely overlooked the explosion in the kitchen halfway through dinner. Dan had been charged with the creation of said cookies instead of his dad (he tended to be destructive when dealing with pudding, hence the explosion).

"Be productive, will you, hun?"

"Will do, Mom," Dan agreed, remaining motionless until he heard his mother's steps on the stairs.

"Okays, guys," he whispered, whirling around to face his partners in crime. "This may be the only time I get the kitchen all to myself, so we've got to make this fast." He angled the camera at Drago. "And...action."

"Woe is me," Drago began monotonously, aiming to be as bland and emotionless as possible. "Whatever shall I do to help you, Dan?"

Dan groaned, shifting the camera to take a shot of him on the floor. He clutched his head with one hand and his stomach with the other. "Ugh...Drago...you must...find the flower," he wheezed. "You must...you must...you m–ow, my face...I mean, ow, my head is exploding!"

The kitchen door thumped against his temple again, and a foot joined in on the collisions to his head. Dan grimaced, spying his dad above him through half-lidded eyes.

"Dan, what are you doing down there?" Mr. Kuso asked, kneeling down and waving animatedly at the camera.

"Dad," he hissed. "I'm making a movie."

"Oh! I'm down with that."

"What?"

"I'm trying to be hip and in with the times, son."

"Dad, hip people _never _say 'hip.'"

His dad looked mildly affronted. "I'm cool, I'm in vogue, I'm jiggly...like pudding, or jello, I suppose, depending on how you look at it. Speaking of pudding, are those Upside Down Chocolate Chip Pudding Cookies done yet?"

"No, Dad, but I'll let you know when they are."

"You're sure?"

"Yep."

Mr. Kuso nodded to himself, accepting his son's word, and waved at the camera once more before departing. Dan groaned again, this time not merely acting.

"Cut."

* * *

The scene changed abruptly in the camera's eye, a crisp white landscape stretching in every direction. Specks of green, black, and copper caught the sunlight filtering through the open window, surreally illuminating the canvas upon which Dan's masterpiece would be painted. A blue sphere scrambled across the counter top, racing to keep up with his leader, while a dark red sphere precariously perched itself on the cameraman's shoulder.

"Mr. Drago, Mr. Drago!"

"What?" the red Dragonoid growled, crimson shame coursing through his being.

"Are we at the Doom Volcano yet?"

The Doom Volcano, or a pot of almost-boiling hot sauce, sat about two feet away on the stove top. Both Bakugan trekked across the kitchen, and Dan in the meantime had a quiet conversation with another.

"So, Drago is trying his hand at acting?" Apollonir asked, amused.

"Yeah, he was really excited about it. If he does well in my home movie, I'm sure a big shot Hollywood director will see him and want to cast him as the new Edward."

The red sphere waddled across the counter top slightly faster than a caterpillar would, and Dan animatedly followed the dynamic duo, shifting the camera to look up at them from below at an angle. Drago worked across, making it seem as if he was using his whip to swing up to the pot, when in reality Dan was giving him a boost. He stood on the caldera, staring down at the bubbles popping in a dark rhythm and releasing steam. Dan zoomed in on the red liquid for a moment before focusing back on Drago and helping Preyas perch himself next to Drago.

"Whoa!" Preyas/Short Round shouted. "It's funny how it keeps coming closer."

"Preyas! You're falling in!" Drago yelled.

Sure enough, Preyas was tipping into the cauldron, and he let loose a terrified girlish scream. Short Round took hold of the edge with one appendage, and Dan maneuvered himself into a bird's eye view. Drago balanced himself on the narrow ledge, heading toward Preyas.

"Hold on!"

"I'm slipping," he cried, the shout echoing dramatically thanks to Dan vocal input.

Drago leaned over his sidekick as much as he could without falling in himself, his fedora tumbling down into the red abyss. Preyas caught it with his free hand, loosening his grip on the caldera.

"You have to let go!" Drago roared, one hand gripping the handle of the pot, the other extended toward Preyas.

"Are you crazy?" Preyas shouted back.

"Trust me!"

Preyas hesitated for a moment, but then let go, plummeting downward. Drago acted quickly, his whip shooting out and wrapping around his partner. He braced himself against the handle and pulled. Preyas came back up, the momentum causing both of them to tumble off the volcano and onto the other side of the stove. Panting from exertion–and in Preyas' case, fright–the two Bakugan lay sprawled on the stove while still filmed from above and slowly closed in on Drago. He prodded him lightly, motioning for him to hurry up. Slowly, Drago got to his feet and dragged himself across the remaining expanse of counter top until they stopped just short of reaching the freezer.

"Halt!" a deep voice commanded above them. "Who dares disturb the great Guardian?"

In a flash Preyas cowered behind Drago, who immediately looked up to find Apollonir straddling freezer door in a small golden outfit. Had Drago's face been more expressive, a look of shock would have crossed it. Had Dan also blackmailed the most powerful Bakugan in existence (after him, of course) into being part of this sorry excuse for a movie? He prayed to the Baku-Gods– which in this case happened to be standing above him–that the entire world had not gone crazy and that his dear friend still maintained a shred of his dignity.

"Apollonir?" he shouted. "What...what are you doing?"

The shimmering Bakugan descended his perch, landing flawlessly in front of Drago Jones and his faithful, though cowardly, sidekick. "I'm am no such Apollonir!" he boomed. "I am the Guardian! I am the Creator! I am...your father!"

Dan giggled manically. What a plot twist!

"My father?" Drago repeated, skeptical. "Apollonir, we must band together to end Dan's foolishness. Don't tell me you have also fallen in his trap?"

"This is no trap, Drago Jones," he spat. "This is reality. Stand your ground. To gain access into my domain, you must defeat me in battle."

The Dragonoid groaned, biting back another retort. What good would it have done him? Apollonir was on Dan's side. But he'd been challenged and his honor would not allow him to back down, be it pretend or not.

"Preyas, you must get to the sherbert popsicle flower," he whispered. "I'll handle Apoll–er, the Guardian."

"Aye, aye, sir!" he agreed, scampering quietly to the now open freezer.

The Guardian and Drago Jones faced each other, deep concentration evident in their stances. It would bring great shame upon Drago if he couldn't win this battle _and _Dan had incriminating photos of him. His entire pride as a Bakugan was at risk.

This was a battle he couldn't afford to lose.

"Popsicle sherbet...popsicle sherbet...where is that popsicle sherbet?" Preyas spoke to himself as he made his way through the chilly ice box. Dan had wisely chosen to forgo filming the battle and decided to follow Preyas on the journey that began the movie in the first place.

Preyas forged forward, shivering and running a plastic hand over packages of meat and various other frozen foods. Some looked distinctly inedible and others frightened the Aquos Bakugan. What were half of these things doing in the freezer?

Meanwhile, Dan peered inside with the camera, realizing a hole in his plan: he'd neglected to inform Preyas where exactly the popsicle sherbet flowers were. It looked like Preyas was on his own.

* * *

"Hello? Popsicle sherbet...?" he called out blankly. "It's a little scary in here. It'd be good for both of us if you just came out and showed yourself." In his mind, the sherbet were sentient beings that would answer his call only if he asked nicely enough. He ventured deeper into the frigid lair, bracing himself for any foe that might jump out at him from behind a bag of vegetables.

"Here, little sherbets..."

The silent wind of the area carried his cry away, and he gulped. The light was beginning to dim. He felt hypothermia setting in. Surely, he would not make it!

"I'm doomed!" he shouted theatrically, well-aware of Dan's encouraging grin behind the camera. "A frozen tomb awaits me and I couldn't save Dan! Goodbye, cruel world! Goodbye!" He slumped against a nearby box, shutting his eyes.

He spent a few minutes sitting, wondering what to do next, and he opened his eyes a wink. There, next to his face, read the words 'Popsicle Sherbet.'

"Oh."

Preyas emerged from the frozen wasteland slightly frostbitten, but triumphant. A white wrapped treat was draped across his miniscule shoulders.

"I got it!" he shouted at Drago, who was locked in a bitter stalemate with Apollonir. The older, more experienced Bakugan matched every move he made, chuckling and reminding Drago that he could never defeat the Guardian.

"I don't have to defeat you," Drago retorted. "My sidekick has the prize! Farewell, Apollonir!"

Drago bolted to the stovetop, bypassing the volcano completely. Preyas followed as quickly as his waddle would allow, his hold on Dan's cure tightening ever so slightly with every step. Dan, absolutely bursting with joy, hummed the 'Rocky' there somg, eagerly resuming his pained moans once his actors reached him.

"Drago?" he whispered faintly.

"Yes, Daniel. It's me," he sighed. "Here is your flower."

The boy reached out a trembling hand. "The popsicle sherbet flower? Thank...you...thank-"

A loud crash sounded a few feet away from him, and he shot to his feet mid-sentence. "I'm making the cookies, Mom, I swear!"

Seconds passed before he realized that his mother hadn't walked in again. The pots that his mother kept over the stove had only fallen. He breathed a sigh of relief, picking them up one by one.

"Help!" Apollonir cried, disappearing under the waves of lava in the volcano. Dan quickly put two and two together, assuming Apollonir had knocked over the pans on accident and fallen in, and fished the Bakugan out of the liquid. Dan was too slow, though, and couldn't react in time to the warning shout the others threw at him. A rollling pin, along with various other kitchen utensils, tumbled downward, connecting with Dan's head.

The boy seemed peaceful, even knocked unconscious and sprawled on the kitchen tile.

"Um, was that part of the movie?" Preyas asked, no longer holding the popsicle, but peering over the edge of the counter at Dan.

"I don't think so," Apollonir remarked from his place on a paper towel.

Drago remained silent, a predicament looming over his head. He acknowledged the power the situation put him in. On one hand, he could leave Dan unconscious on the floor-he'd be okay in time, anyway-and allow his mother to administer a punishment that would most likely violate the Geneva Conventions. This opportunity could easily be Drago's revenge for the heinous acts Dan had coerced him into, now and in the past. The downside meant that Dan would probably want to take revenge for that and the next blackmailing would be all the more humiliating. On the other hand, he could take Dan's responsibilities into his own plastic appendages. Drago could make the blasted Upside Down Chocolate Chip Pudding Cookies and then Dan would be in his debt, a debt with which he could ask for the those blackmail pictures in return.

Yes, option two was most definitely the better choice.

"Okay, listen up," Drago ordered. "We've got to make those cookies. It's in our best interests. Preyas, you find the recipe. Apollonir, you'll be our mixer, and-yes, what is it, Apollonir?"

"I'm afraid I can't help you, Drago. I'm currently covered with this despicable substance and such a taste would not be very palatable in cookies. Besides, you've become as powerful as the Perfect Core itself. I'm sure you can handle a few cookies."

Drago nodded slowly, designating Preyas the mixer as well as the recipe fetcher.

"Actually, Draggy, I'm allergic to most human food, so I'd better sit this one out. Marucho usually does the mixing for me because I get this terrible rash all over and-"

"Alright, I'll do this myself. Get the recipe." he growled.

He pushed a bowl forward and dumped flour into it as directed by Preyas. One by one, he added the dry ingredients, jumping into the bowl and combining them without much difficulty as Preyas and Apollonir watched (he couldn't really use a spoon since they were too big for him). The real trouble began when Preyas dropped the eggs in without so much as a warning. One landed on his head and soon he was drowning.

"Preyas!" he called. "Stop!" Another landed from above and Drago tried to swim away from them. The eggs soon towered over him and came crashing down on him. He stayed under for a few moments before coming up and shaking the egg white off of him.

"At least it's mixed," Preyas said sheepishly.

The more ingredients they added, the thicker the dough became. It quickly became harder and harder for Drago to maneuver through it.

"Okay, Draggy, we're done. You can get out now."

He tried to pull himself up. "I can't. I'm stuck." He wriggled around a bit and he began to sink faster. "Preyas, get me out!"

The Bakugan above panicked and shoved Apollonir in, grabbing his arm and making a Bakugan chain. Apollonir grabbed Drago and hoisted him up, leading him to his used paper towel.

"Well, the hard part is done. All we have to do is place these cookies on a tray and in the oven," Drago sighed, beginning to have second thoughts on the whole idea of helping Dan out.

"We can't do that!" Preyas shouted. "In this shape, we're puny."

It seemed all hope was lost. The Bakugan stared dejectedly at one another until their prayer was miraculously answered by none other than Dan's dad.

"Are those cookies done now?" he asked, walking and looking quizzically upon his son. "Oh, are you still filming? Dan?" He waved a hand in front of the boy's face.

"Mr. Kuso!"

The man whirled around, startled. "Oh, it's just you litte guys." He saw the bowl and grinned. "Well, hello there, tasty morsels of heaven."

"Mr. Kuso, we have to get these cookies in the oven," Drago explained.

"Oh, that's right! The guests will be arriving soon."

"Can we count on you?"

"Yes. Yes, you can. Oh, and if I were you, I'd put that sherbet popsicle back in the freezer. Dan's mother won't like it if her special frozen treats were taken without her permission."

At this point Dan groggily sat up, holding his head with a smile. "Don't worry, Dad, I'll put it away.

Dan grabbed the popsicle at the same time that Drago did. He opened the door carefully and placed it in the furthest reaches of the freezer. Drago protested, but couldn't pull himself free since Dan had grabbed his wing in the process.

"Danny boy, Drago is in there!" Preyas worried.

"I know, but I did get prime blackmail material here," Dan argued, cradling his camera. "Besides, Drago needs to _chill out_."

The group laughed heartily.

"I don't get it."

* * *

**_I'm not sure how this one turned out, since it took months to finish. Do me a favor and point out mistakes or just review for the heck of it!_**

**_Cocoacharm15_**


	16. Theme 23: Beet It

_**Howdy, ya'll! Today we'll be exploring the characters of the Bakugan Battle Brawler's Resistance. That means Ace, Mira, and Baron get some screen/story time. Now, just pretend that they all together and that Mira never left, okay?**_

_**Disclaimer: I would not write fanfiction if I owned Bakugan…okay, maybe I would, but I don't!**_

* * *

Seaweed, Rice, Sushi

Ace pushed away the bottle in front of him with an expression of unadulterated loathing. His taste buds were just about numb from all the beet juice he'd ingested in the past few weeks. He doubted he'd ever be able to taste again, but it surprised him that Marucho insisted on feeding them the stuff. While he'd never heard a complaint from any of the other Resistance members, Ace didn't hesitate to make his disgust known.

He was about to vocalize how sick he was of beet juice when Dan, sitting to his left, announced warily, "Marucho, I know you said this stuff is healthy and all, but I don't think I can handle any more of it."

"Master Dan's right," Baron chimed in, looking apologetic. "I think it's time we drink something else."

Shun stayed silent, but nodded in agreement with the other two boys. Their gazes drifted to Mira, who tensed under the pressure of having to say they were right.

"Well, you see, Marucho, it's just that the Resistance can't live off of beet juice alone." Her heart broke upon seeing the disappointed expression the blonde's face. "Everything in moderation," she added, failing to uplift his frown.

It took a few moments, but Marucho's expression changed from one of sadness to one of determination. "You guys haven't even tried it yet! I decided to get a little bit wild and experiment with new flavors."

"I'm not trying it first," Ace decided, crossing his arms and settling his defiant eyes on the girl across from him. "You do it, Mira."

"I—what?!"

"You're the leader," he pointed out calmly, smirking as she suppressed a glare for Marucho's benefit. Ace's choice was only encouraged by the rest of the crew, and Mira gulped silently as she picked up the plain plastic bottle. They stared expectantly at her, the bottle raised to her lips.

She took a tiny sip. "Okay, your turn." She turned Ace, who had his brow furrowed in confusion.

"That's not fair, Mira," he retorted, pushing his bottle even further away.

"Are you not man enough to drink some little old beet juice?" she teased, and the others inwardly cringed at the low blow. Ace was not about to have his manly toughness undermined, especially not by Mira.

He swooped the bottle into his hands, and gulped it down, coughing as the last of the concoction slithered down his throat. He looked confused again. "Marucho, you said you were "getting wild" but this tastes exactly the same!"

"I beg to differ, Ace. This drink has carrot extract, and besides, I used sugar beets this time," Marucho explained.

"Whatever," Ace muttered, slouching against the chair.

"Guys, I think we need a new cook," Dan suggested, the violet-haired Vestal nodding eagerly.

"Can it be me, Master Dan? I know how to make lots of things," he gushed.

"Cold cereal and toast doesn't count, Baron," Ace grumbled, shooting him a dark look.

Baron looked hurt for a second, before taking a page from Dan's book and sticking up for himself. "You're just jealous because you can't cook!"

"Why would he want to?" Shun cut in, inadvertently defending the Darkus Brawler.

"Because it's awesome, like Master Dan."

Mira sighed. Apparently, being testosterone-filled boys meant that they couldn't go a day without getting into a fight about something. They'd even managed to drag Marucho into their argument, all of them clumped in the center of the room, shouting and shoving. There was only one way to settle this.

"Okay, listen up!" she shouted, taking command. "We agree that it's unfair to let Marucho do all the cooking for us." _Not to mention that we're all tired of beets_, she added in her mind. She held up her fist from which six straws stood. "We'll draw straws to figure out who'll be the new cook. This is fair, Ace, so don't complain. Whoever gets the shortest straws will cook for the next month. Got it?"

The boys grumbled, but nodded, each of them picking a straw and leaving Mira with one. Dan and Baron cheered when they realized their straws were the longest. Ace smirked since his straw was longer than Mira and Marucho's. Still, both their straws were relatively long. Each one of them slowly turned to face the last one standing.

"You've got be kidding me," Shun growled, staring at his puny straw.

"Looks like you're stuck with kitchen duty, Shun," Dan taunted, leaving the room with his hands locked behind his head.

"I hope lunch is tasty, Master Shun," Baron added, quickly following his one true leader.

Ace chuckled to himself. This day had suddenly gotten a lot better. At least he knew that they wouldn't be having beet juice anytime soon.

---

"They want food? Oh, I'll give them food," Shun mumbled to himself, banging around in the small kitchen.

This had to be discrimination. They always went after him when it came to doing what no one else wanted to do. '_Take advantage of the ninja, why don't you?_' he thought to himself sarcastically, remembering the countless times he'd been assigned bathroom duty without his consent.

He rummaged around in the freezer, sifting through a multitude of freezer-burned foods. Shun shook his head. All this food was just waiting to be devoured, and they were living off of beets? He would have considered that an act of cruelty had he not suffered worse conditions under his grandfather's extreme training.

He pulled out what appeared to be a fish. Lunch was settled. He was doing things the Japanese way.

It took about an hour in the microwave to finally defrost the fish, but for his sushi purposes, he had to wait patiently. Instead of serving plain _sashimi_ (raw fish), he planned on serving rice balls with it for a dish called _nigirizush_i using the stale rice he found in the pantry.

By chance, Shun also managed to find _nori_, pressed seaweed leaves. He rolled some raw fish into those to make _makizushi_. Shun proudly examined the final product. It was quite handsome, if he did say so himself. But now was not the time to admire the beauty of his sushi, for now it was time for the feast.

---

"Lunch is served," he announced regally, setting covered trays of sushi in front of his friends. Dan grinned, happy that he was finally going to be eating some real food. Marucho frowned slightly, the serious look seeming out of place on his childish face. Shun patted him comfortingly on the shoulder, and the frown dissolved into a small smile. Ace looked skeptical about eating Shun's cooking, mostly because he had the arrogant idea that the ninja might have poisoned it.

Hey, you never knew with ninjas.

Mira hoped that her straws had done the job, and they'd be having solids again. And Baron, well, he just was _Baron_.

"Okay, I hope you guys like _makizushi_ and _nigirizushi_," Shun added before revealing his creation.

Dan looked between Shun and the sushi. "Where's the roast beef?" he asked.

"Roast beef?" Shun repeated, not quite understanding what Dan was getting at.

"Yeah, roast beef! Meat! The Swedish term for beef that is roasted," he explained, outraged.

"You didn't tell me you wanted roast beef," Shun argued.

Dan made a frustrated noise. "Well, I didn't want whatever the heck this is." He used his chopsticks to poke at the food. Dan gasped. "Are these…_leaves_?"

Shun exhaled sharply. "Look, Dan, no one else has a problem with this so just eat it."

"Actually," Ace began, also prodding his food, "I think mine just moved." He poked at it again. "Are you sure this thing is dead?"

"I am fairly sure that this delicacy is raw," Marucho informed.

"Well, I don't want to eat it if Master Dan won't eat it," Baron declared.

Mira sighed for what she thought was the millionth time that day. '_I guess we're going back to beet juice_,' she thought apathetically, just as Dan exclaimed, "Someone's gonna get a beating!"

_**

* * *

**_

Yeah, I have mixed feelings about this one. Let me know what you think and press the REVIEW button!

_**Cocoacharm15**_


	17. Theme 26:Harry Potter and the

**_Although it's been a while, I sincerely hope you're still reading. It's a brand-spanking new chapter to kick off July with. I tried to have fun with it, but I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with it. Anyway, enjoy reader!_**

* * *

**_Harry Potter and the Grotesque Garbanzos_**

**_Theme 26: Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Chocolate Frogs, and Brooms_**

Dan's friends thought he had a problem. An "addiction," whatever that meant.

Dan, however, kindly disagreed. He was pretty sure that being partial to a certain variety of bean that grew in Shun's basement—and sneaking in to get it—was not a sign of addiction. Sure, when he'd eaten the beans he'd run right into the walls of Shun's dojo, walked into traffic, and hallucinated being in a room full of carnivorous furniture, but that usually happened when he ate pudding, too, and his friends didn't say anything about a pudding addiction.

Honestly, Dan figured they were just jealous. After all, _he_ was the one who found the beans, and despite his good-natured attempts to share with his friends, they had refused. Well, they could keep their high-end snacks because his beans were bursting with flavor of every sort, and nothing—NOTHING—could keep him from them.

Or so he thought.

_**-X-**_

Dan tossed and turned in his bed, a horrible nightmare flashing through his head. "No….no…NO!" He sat up in his bed, the image of a pudding cup feasting on his dad still burning bright in his mind. The Pyrus Brawler slowly blinked his eyes, taking in his surroundings. This was most certainly not his bedroom. It was decked out in scarlet and gold with the feel of an ancient castle looming over him. His confusion was eased somewhat when he saw a shock of dark hair peeking out from under the covers of the next bed over.

Something moved out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored it and instead focused on the boy to his left. "Shun," he whispered. "Shun, get up."

The boy didn't answer, merely turning to the side and continuing to sleep.

"Shun!" Dan said a little louder. "Get. Your. Ninja. Butt. Up!" This time Dan punctuated his last word by throwing a pillow at him.

The dark-haired boy yelped a little, startled by the action, and leveled a glare at the perpetrator. "What a rude awakening! Hagrid, how dare you? And what exactly are you doing in Gryffindor Tower?" he asked almost as confused as Dan felt. And was that…was that a _British_ accent?

More importantly_, what on earth_ _was Shun talking about?_ Dan didn't feel like a half-giant, even if he did eat like one. He gave himself a quick once-over, hopping out of bed and realizing he looked like regular old Dan. He couldn't help but wonder if Shun had taken some of his special beans and was now hallucinating. Beans, though, didn't explain why he was in some strange room with a strange best friend.

"Um, if I'm Hagrid, who are _you_?" Dan asked, going to his closet and finding only robes.

"You mean you don't recognize me?" Shun asked, hurt. "I'm Harry Potter."

"What! Harry?" Dan shouted, donning on a traditional wizard's outfit in front of the mirror. Upon further inspection, Dan realized that his friend _did_ have a lightning shaped scar and suddenly he was wearing glasses as well, which didn't make sense because Shun had perfect vision.

"Oh, dear. I believe you may have a case of amnesia there, Hagrid. That's the only explanation for you not remembering the Boy Who Lived." Harry/Shun sighed, placing a hand on Dan's shoulder. "We'll get your memory back, Hagrid. I promise."

Dan glanced blankly between Shun's hand and his robed reflection. He let out an uncharacteristic sigh, pulling a hand through his brown locks. He'd have to stick out this craziness then, whether he wanted to or not. Dragging Dan by the robes, Shun stalked out of the room quickly, but not before Dan saw the chocolate frog on his nightstand.

_**-X-**_

"This is the Great Hall, Hagrid," Harry/Shun explained as he led Dan into the enormous room. Dan wanted to tell him that he had enough knowledge of the Harry Potter universe to not need a detailed explanation of everything they saw, but he didn't. Instead, he put on a smile and pretended to listen to what Shun was saying. Dan needed a way out of this insane dream. His robes were getting really itchy.

"Oh, look, there's our table," his friend remarked, leading him to the obvious Gryffindor table. Dan brightened upon seeing other familiar faces, particularly Runo. He instantly made a move to sit by her, but Shun cut him off and took the only empty spot to her side. Grudgingly, Dan sat next to Shun.

"Hagrid, this is Hermione, remember?" Shun said slowly, pointing at Alice.

"Hagrid, amnesia seems to be caused by trauma. Do you recall any such event?" the Russian asked with an air of certainty. Dan shook his head, trying not to smile at the fact that Alice seemed strangely suited to be Hermione.

"And this is Ron," he continued, this time motioning to Baron.

"It's too bad about your memory, Hagrid, but at least you don't have a class today," Baron/Ron remarked, smiling slightly. This character made him slightly upset. Baron wasn't going to boost his ego today…

"There's Neville"—Harry/Shun waved at Marucho—"And this is Ginny," he finished, signaling to Runo.

Dan nodded throughout all of this, until he realized that Ginny and Harry actually ended up together. That did not sit well with Dan. He couldn't remember if he'd had the hallucinogenic beans or not this time, but he would get out of whatever was happening if it killed him! The question was, how?

"Hagrid looks so hopeless," Hermione/Alice noted. "I read that amnesia…"

Dan stopped listening rather quickly, noting that he didn't like this know-it-all Alice. All the big words made it hard for him to pay attention, so he just didn't. Instead, he busied himself trying to remember if he'd fed his dad that morning.

"…Every Flavor Beans, but I doubt it'll really do anything," she finished.

Dan, having realized that his Dad was on vacation, only caught her last few words and even then, he'd only really digesting three of them. _Every Flavor Beans_. Of course! Why hadn't he thought of that? If his beans got him into this dream, then they'd get him out! All he had to do, then, was find some, eat them, and everything would go back to normal.

"Well, we should at least get him to Professor Dumbledore. He'll know what to do," Ginny surmised. For a moment, Dan thought she would talk to him, but she didn't. "Oh, we have double potions soon. We had better hurry! We can have Groaning Gus escort Hagrid, so we're not late."

Soon everyone vacated the table, expecting Dan to follow along.

"Wait!" he shouted, but none of the Gryffindors looked back. He needed to ask them about the beans! He hurried after them, ready to pounce on Shun but he paused. On the table was a lone chocolate frog. He swallowed apprehensively, hoping that it didn't bring more bad news.

_**-X-**_

Groaning Gus turned out to be a pretty accurate counterpart for Moaning Myrtle. The only problem was that he was a terrible escort. They'd rounded the same corner at least three times before Groaning Gus admitted they were lost. Sighing, the ghost approached a group of nice-looking bunch of students to ask for directions.

Just as Dan's luck would have it, though, they weren't nice at all. Well, the leader was nice-looking (as in handsome, but other than that he looked like a jerk), but the rest were average. They were Slytherins, nasty as no others, from what Dan remembered. And by the looks of it, he'd just run into the king of them all, Klaus von Hertzen, or should he say, Draco Malfoy.

"How to get to Dumbledore's office? You're a ghost! Shouldn't you know this already?" Malfoy/Klaus spat. Gus looked none too happy at having to deal with that superior attitude.

Malfoy would have gone on, Dan was sure, spouting some pureblood rubbish, had he not intervened and defended Groaning Gus. There really wasn't much he could do to back up his claim, though. Malfoy was taller and much stronger. Plus—he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before—he was flanked by Komba and Julio, or Crabbe and Goyle. All Dan had for protection was a ghost with luscious hair! Speaking of which:

"I merely asked for directions," Gus replied tightly. "If you don't know, Malfoy, then Hagrid and I shall be on our way."

Malfoy/Klaus stepped forward, eyeing my closely. "Oh…that's right. Hagrid has lost his memory." He studied me a moment longer, before barking, "Crabbe, Goyle, why don't you show Hagrid a traditional Hogwarts welcome, hm?"

The two bullies approached him, and although one was shorter than him, they were both pretty good at dishing out some painful injuries. For his part, Gus looked extremely smug as he watched the fight, but then again, he wasn't getting severely pummeled and he couldn't save Dan. He was just a ghost, after all. Looks like the frog was right on predicting bad luck!

Eventually, Groaning Gus got him to Dumbledore's office in one piece (mostly). If he hadn't been bleeding internally, Dan would've roared in laughter at the sight of Shun's Grandpa decked out in long purple robes and a pointy matching cap. His beard was long and pure white, and upon his nose lay perched a pair of simple glasses. Grandpa admitted Dan into his quarters with a sagacious civility that hadn't been used toward him by the old man. Ever. If only he treated him this way in real life!

"Hagrid, it is most unfortunate to hear about your ailment." Grandpa spoke slowly, and Dan leaned forward, not wanting to miss a word. "I have but one solution for it, but it shall be a treacherous path to choose. There are—"

"I'll take it!" Dan blurted out without much thought. He couldn't bear to stay in this world any longer; it was driving him up a wall. Not only did he have the worst luck, but he was a half-giant and he didn't have the slightest clue about magical creatures. Plus, he couldn't brawl in this world, which sucked, hands down.

Dumbledore fixed him with a resolute stare from beyond his spectacles. Dan tried his best to stare back without bursting into giggles. A smirk threatened to escape Dan as Dumbledore walked away, so he closed his eyes, hoping to block out the hilarious image before him.

He didn't open them until Dumbledore thrust a bag of something into his hands. He chanced a peek down, his eyes widening at the sight of the Every Flavor beans that he kept in Shun's basement. Dan could only wonder how Grandpa knew that he was looking for them. It didn't really matter to him, though, as long as he was getting the hell out of this crappy little Harry Potter universe. Not even the ever present omen bothered him.

He dug around in the bag finding a nice blue bean, and fervently praying it was blueberry flavored, he tipped his head back and everything went dark.

….

"…wake up…wake up…don't know…get Carlisle!" Dan's head was pounding as if he'd been smacked in the back of the head with a shovel. He could vaguely distinguish phrases of a smooth, velvety voice just beyond his reach. He felt like he was being moved and then he was out again.

_**-X-**_

It was the second time within 48 hours that he'd woken up in a strange bed with no recollection of the night before. He hoped he wasn't making a habit of this. Dan's head pounded, but he gathered the strength to sit up and look at his surroundings. He was on a futon, a wall of CD's and playable media across from him. He could see out of the tall floor length windows.

There was no one in the room, but he heard voices coming from outside in the hallway. Before he could get up to investigate, a figure swept into the room, pinning Dan with his amber gaze.

"Get Carlisle. He's awake." The person didn't look away from Dan as he spoke to the other boy behind him.

Dan shook his head, clearing his vision and recognizing Shun. "Shun? What's going on here?"

"You don't recognize me?" the amber-eyed boy responded, ignoring his query.

"Of course, I do. It's just that I had the craziest dream. I was in Harry flipping Potter, and you were Harry, and I was Hagrid, and—"

He couldn't continue to describe his torment because just then Spectra entered the room, looking surprisingly normal. His blonde hair was slicked back and he had on a white lab coat. His eyes, though, instead of being their usual bright blue, were like Shun's, a light amber.

"How has he been, Edward?" Spectra asked, placing a hand on Dan's forehead.

Shun looked away from him. "Better, I suppose. He's been having some hallucinations."

Dan opened his mouth to protest, but Ace, who'd been standing in the back by the door, interrupted his thoughts. "Should I bring Bella in?"

Shun seemed to stiffen at the mention of her name. He studied Dan carefully before relenting. "Yes, Jasper, just be careful."

Ace nodded, turning and stepping over the threshold, but not before Dan caught a glimpse of Ace's topaz eyes.

Dan was admittedly confused. He wasn't home. He'd eaten the stupid bean and he wasn't home. All he had to show for it was another dream with stupid people and stupid fake names. Like Edward. And Bella. And Carlisle. And…and…he couldn't possibly be where he thought he was.

"Jacob!" a feminine voice shouted in relief, throwing her arms around Dan's neck.

He groaned out loud, realizing that he was in the one place that he hated more the Harry Potter: Twilight.

No wonder everyone had those weird colored eyes! Not that he minded being Jacob, especially if he had an excuse for not wearing a shirt.

He had to get out, but first, he had to escape the arms of Bella.

"Jacob, I was so worried about you when Edward brought you in. I…I thought that—"

She didn't finish her thought because at that moment Dan sprang up out of the bed. He couldn't believe what he was seeing! Bella was…was…_Mylene_?

Like he said before, he had to get out! The pitiful look she was giving him was creeping him out!

"Jake, what's…what's wrong? Are you still not feeling well? We were afraid Victoria might have gotten to you, but Edward said the area was clear." She paused for a moment, touching his arm gently. Dan looked down at her hand with fear.

"Jacob, do you remember me at all?" she asked quietly, as if she were holding back tears. She sat on the futon with him.

Dan, frightened to his wits end, swallowed heavily. He didn't know if it was her being this close to him or her being nice that scared him more. "Um…"

Bella/Mylene leaned against him, and he stiffened. "Jake?"

He remained quiet, trying to slowly maneuver himself away from her, but she didn't budge. She was like a freaking stone wall. Then she met his gaze, her face too close for comfort.

"Jake," she whispered and leaned in ever so slowly.

Dan saw where this was heading, and he was sure as hell not sticking around. He shot out of his perch like lightening, Mylene flopping onto the bed with a huff. He dashed out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him, almost tripping down the stairs and crashing into a piano.

"He's lost his mind! Restrain him, Jasper!" Carlisle called, and soon Ace's arms were locked around Dan. Edward/Shun joined in, too, after merely seconds.

"No, no, no!" Dan shouted, attempting to kick either Ace or Shun where it would hurt most. "I am not in Twilight! I am not in Harry Potter! I am done with the beans! I am never, ever, _ever_ taking them again!"

_**-X-**_

Shun admired Spectra's handiwork. He was sure good at clobbering Dan over the head with a broom. Dan would be out for hours! Of course, Shun regretted nothing. It'd been absolutely necessary to knock Dan out in Dumbledore's office and after he renounced the beans. How else were they supposed to transition between worlds?

All in all, Shun's plan had been successful. Dan wasn't addicted to those unsanitary things in his basement, and he would freak out around Mylene without knowing why.

Now all he had to do was write out the checks.

* * *

**_So basically, Shun put together an elaborate scheme to break Dan's addiction, which may or may not have been necessary, but it was fun, right? Hope you enjoyed, reader! Leave a review and really give me your honest opinion. Thanks!_**

**_Cocoacharm15_**


	18. Theme 27: Klaus and the Terrible Day

_**Well, this is by far the longest (and strangest) chapter I've ever written. This is intended to be wacky-you have been warned~**_

* * *

**Klaus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Really Bad Day**

'**Drink Me' Bottles, Unbirthday Cakes, and Wonderland...**

Sirenoid, like any faithful Bakugan, always made sure to wake her master at sunrise. This morning was no exception, her melodious voice promptly rousing Klaus from a most restful sleep. He stifled an undignified yawn and stretched, draping his legs over the edge of his regal four-poster bed. He stood, thanking his Bakugan and taking fluid steps toward his bathroom. Unfortunately, he had a rather abrupt face-to-face meeting with the plush carpeted floor. He got to his feet, brushed himself off, and picked up the culprit, Mr. Snuggles. He tossed the teddy bear onto his bed, quickly forgiving his favorite stuffed animal.

Klaus went through his morning rituals, eventually reaching for his hair dryer. He plugged the device into an outlet, flicking the 'on' switch. It buzzed momentarily before stalling and promptly exploding, singing a lock of his chic silver hair. He huffed and made his way downstairs for the breakfast of champions, trying to disregard the incident. He rushed to finish his cereal resulting in a piece getting lodged in his throat. He coughed it up with a growl and picked up his briefcase to head toward the office.

Sirenoid, sensing the tension, remained silent throughout the ride and as Klaus dropped her off at her desk. He made a move to walk away, but he stopped short of another step, addressing her wearily.

"Sirenoid, file a lawsuit against Mr. Snuggles. Oh, and schedule an appointment with my hair stylist."

She only stared at him for a moment. "Mr. Snuggles, Klaus?" she repeated.

"Yes. Mr. Snuggles."

Without another word, Klaus left toward his office. His briefcase was clutched in his left hand. He placed a well-manicured hand on the door knob, pausing when a shadow caught his eye through the glass door. He dismissed it as a figment of an overworked brain and pushed the door open only to be greeted by giggles.

He gaped in disbelief at the scene before him, wishing he'd chosen to stay in bed that morning.

Dan was stretched out across the CEO's desk tossing various writing utensils up at the ceiling in an attempt to get them stuck there. Ace reclined in his patent leather chair tossing his Sirenoid-shaped paperweight up and down, catching it deftly in his hands. They glanced lazily at him, not shifting from their positions.

"What are you doing?" Klaus choked out, shocked. Who had the gall to be create such mayhem, especially on a day like this?

"...Being bad!" Dan shouted exuberantly. Ace rolled his eyes, getting up and picking up a snack from Klaus' kitchenette.

"I'm just here for the food," he muttered, clearly displeased with the quality of the apple in his hands and returning to the chair.

"Get out!" Klaus commanded tiredly, unable to muster much venom into his tone.

"Jeez, fine, Mr. Crank von Grouchy," Dan yielded, shooting one last pencil into the ceiling for a grand total of twenty-one.

"Out of my chair."

The seafoam-haired Brawler sighed and got up, snagging another fruit before leaving.

Klaus reluctantly sat in the vacated chair, hating how warm it was thanks to Ace's derriere. He much preferred sitting in a cold chair.

He popped open his briefcase, pulling out notes for his ten o'clock meeting with the supervisors of his departments. He allowed his mind to wander in the sales figures, marketing ideas, and stock values, a welcome relief from the insanity of his morning. He turned to his computer, surprised it was already on, and pulled up his checklist of points of business for the meeting. Klaus searched for his new design plans–he'd left them on his desk the previous day, he was sure–but didn't find them. He didn't really need them for the meeting, he surmised, and printed his checklist.

The machine beside his computer whirred to life, coughing out the papers into his awaiting hands. He glanced them over, the automatic processing of information soothing his frayed nerves, and he hesitantly pressed his nose to the papers, inhaling the scent of freshly printed characters and routine.

Klaus immersed himself in last quarter's report, finding trends and calculations, so much so that by the time his meeting rolled around he'd almost completely forgotten about Mr. Snuggles' betrayal. To his pleasure, his staff was already assembled in the conference room. He seated himself at the head of the Round Table–he considered his business royal, and therefore, it was an appropriate name–and the CEO gazed around the room, not liking the somber looks on his employees' faces.

"Good morning," he began, adjusting his tie. "I trust that the report is completed and ready to be assessed."

The employees shifted uneasily in their seats, dreading to give their boss the quarterly report. Most of them noticed he was in a sour mood, and last time he'd been angry it hadn't boded well for a few employees.

"Who'll tell him?" a few whispered, many pointing surreptitiously at John, the new guy.

"Who has it?" Klaus asked after a few minutes of silence, jaw clenched.

"Bill had it, sir," one employee announced.

"Where is he?"

"He didn't show up today, but–"

"You're fired," Klaus decided instantly.

No one else dared speak up and Klaus sighed, feeling very old for having to resort to extreme measures. "If no one gives me the report, I'm firing three more of you...Who has it?"

John tried to make himself small in his chair, but the man sitting next to him raised John's arm and Klaus called him out.

"John, is it?"

The other man nodded slightly.

"Do you have my report?" he asked calmly.

John nodded again, stiffly stepping around his chair and going to Klaus with the report. The CEO took it swiftly, bright green eyes progressively narrowing as they made their way down the page.

The employees shared apprehensive looks. Oh, no...

"What is this?" Klaus spat, turning to the assembled workers. "A thirty-five percent drop in sales! John, how dare you give this rubbish to me? You're fired."

"Mr. Von Hertzon, our competitors have recently launched a new campaign that has increased their sales by fifteen percent in the first week alone. We haven't been able to match their profits."

"_What?_" Klaus hissed. "Haven't been able to match prof–"

He stopped mid-shout as his human assistant came in and placed a tea cup in front of him. He waited until she'd left the room, and cleared his throat. "Where was I? Oh, yes. Haven't been able to match profits?" he shouted, slamming his fist down on the table and knocking over his tea cup on his lap.

Some employees snickered, but he quickly silenced them with a glare and went to his office to change into the spare pants he kept in his desk drawer.

"The tea again?" Sirenoid asked as he walked out, to which he responded with a tight nod.

The conference room was alive with murmurs until he regained his seat.

"Now," Klaus began. "Explain to me why the idea I presented to you hasn't brought in the expected revenue. The Wonderland-themed hotel in the East Quadrant of the city should have easily trumped Vestal Housing Inc.'s sales. It's exactly what consumers want–magic, excitement, flair–so why are we losing stock holders by the minute? Oh, and John, you're fired again."

"But sir, somehow Vestal Housing also launched a Wonderland-themed hotel, and it's generating immense profits–"

"John!" Klaus yelled. "You're fired for a third time."

"I have a wife and three kids, sir," he pleaded.

"Fourth time."

"But–"

"Talking back to the CEO? Fifth firing."

"Sir–"

"You're insulting me! Sixth firing."

John, seeing the futility in his attempts sighed loudly.

"That gets you fired a seventh time, Buster," Klaus summarized. "Now I won't have to fire anyone for three days."

The rest of the employees burst into cheers until Klaus bellowed, "But that doesn't mean I won't!"

He promptly dismissed the meeting, eyeing the last straggler, John.

"Sir?" John said as he approached Klaus and handed him a bundle of papers. "Here are the new ideas my design team came up with. I thought you'd like them."

Klaus flipped through the pages, nodding to himself as he read things he liked. All in all, it was a sound idea. "John, you're hired again."

The man beamed, bowing as he retreated. "Thank you, sir. I won't let you down!"

"Yes, yes. Don't make me fire you again."

-X-

_It doesn't make any sense_, Klaus thought to himself, pacing in his office. How in the world did his competitor get the plans he'd spent months working on in absolute secrecy? He and Sirenoid had never openly discussed them, and he made sure to keep his office locked when he wasn't in it. No spies working for the other company should have been able to access them, unless...

Unless the spies had been right in front of him!

-X-

"It's two billion or no deal," Dan insisted, shooting Ace a cool glance, a manila envelope in his grasp.

The executives across from them furrowed their brows, shrewdly examining the contract before them.

"Can we afford that?"

"It'll all pay off in the end, right?"

"We could finally put Klaus Industries out of business!"

They quietly discussed the pros and cons of a business arrangement with two messy-haired boys for a few minutes more before finally conceding. All of them signed the contract Dan had created himself.

Dan allowed himself a wide, knowing smile. "Now will you boys be paying in cash or credit?"

-X-

Klaus resisted the urge to fire John again, pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing in deeply. How could he have been betrayed in such a way? After all he'd sacrificed for them? He placed his hands on his desk to steady himself, feeling the strain of dealing with people with less class than him. They obviously _enjoyed _seeing him suffer at the hands of a migraine. Tough times like these made Klaus crave him favorite drink: bacon tea.

He entered his kitchenette, quickly locating the heavily fortified cabinet that held his precious drink. As a precaution–bacon tea was very hard to come by and he could only import so much of it at a time–he kept it under lock and key, lock and key being two deadbolts, a key lock, and a girly-man chain lock (let it be said that he only had the chain lock installed because Sirenoid has insisted).Those were relatively easy to get through, and he pulled open the cabinet door to reveal a keypad safe. He punched in the ridiculously long number and twisted the knob. Another safe awaited him, this time with a combination lock. It took him a few minutes, but on his second try he'd succeeded in opening the second safe.

Klaus smiled to himself, preparing a cup of tea for himself as fast as he could while still looking dignified. He inhaled the scent, noting how oddly leafy it smelled but disregarding it, and sipped. He spat it out just as quickly, his tongue scalded and his taste buds humiliated. This was most definitely _not _bacon tea! He checked the container and read the words he hated most: All Natural Green Tea.

"Sirenoid!"

"Yes, Master Klaus?" His Bakugan appeared calm in his doorway, not noticing his apparent distress.

"Sirenoid, what happened to my bacon tea stores? Instead I have this filth, this All Natural Green Tea. Did you authorize anyone's entrance?"

"No, Master. A janitor came by to perform his rounds, but no one else has entered since you arrived. Would you like me to order more?"

He sighed, feeling guilty for doubting Sirenoid's ability to guard his office. "No, no, it's fine. I think I'll go for a walk. I feel like stepping on some little people."

-X-

A shady, mustachioed janitor stalked down the halls of Klaus Industries pushing a tarp-covered cart. He had to hurry or else he might get caught. Getting past Sirenoid hadn't been too much of a challenge, but he couldn't afford to take anymore chances. He sped up, causing a box of bacon tea to tumble out from under his tarp. He stuffed it back under the cover and continued, amber eyes darting from side to side.

He spotted an employee coming his way and tried to act natural, slowing his pace and whistling a merry tune. The janitor was about to turn the corner when the employee hailed him, holding up a piece of black cardboard.

"Sir, it seems you've dropped your mustache," the man remarked, handing it back to the janitor.

"Oh, um, thanks," the janitor barked out, holding the mustache to his face with a hand and pushing his cart with the other.

"He dropped his mustache...?" he heard the man ask himself. "Eh."

The janitor now ran down the hallway, turning abruptly into the janitor's closet and shutting the door behind him. He flicked on the overhead light and stared at the two people already inside.

"Okay, it's done. Now where's my half a billion?" Shun asked, peeling off his uniform and eyeing the pair warily.

"Excellent work, buddy. We'll have Klaus buying back the rights to those plans in no time."

-X-

The silver-haired man maintained a leisurely pace as he left his office building, taking slow, deliberate breaths and enjoying the warmth of the day. He admitted to himself that perhaps he looked out of place, considering how well dressed he was and how aristocratically he carried himself. That aside, Klaus knew that this walk would most assuredly brighten his mood.

"Sir!" a man called out, stepping in Klaus' path and shoving a small glass bottle in his face. "Are you feeling tired or as if you're just too big for the regular mundane tasks? Well, have I got the solution for you! Introducing the latest line of "Drink Me" Bottles, perfect for those moments when you just don't have the solution for tiny jobs! Can I interest you in a free sample?"

"No." Klaus responded, stepping around the man.

The man would not be deterred, however, and quickly cut into Klaus' path again. "Well, how about a year's supply of "Drink Me" Bottles all for the low price of–"

"I said, no," he repeated, aggravated.

"What if I thrown in this free collector's item with–"

"No!" Klaus yelled. "For the last time, I don't want your product!"

"Are you sure?" the salesman questioned eagerly.

Klaus narrowed his eyes, taking the bottle from the man and shattering it on the ground with a flick of his wrist. "I'm sure. Go put this garbage in someone else."

Now, such public displays of anger were uncommon for Klaus, but he felt oddly satisfied with his actions and didn't even consider how it must've looked to bystanders. Rejuvenated, he strolled past the street vendor he usually bought his wienerschnitzel from, acknowledging the man with a nod.

"Sir, here is a free wienerschnitzel for being such a frequent customer." The apron-clad man stood there, wienerschnitzel in his outstretched hand.

Klaus recoiled, anger welling up inside of him. "Do I look like a charity case to you? I am perfectly capable of _buying _my own wienerschnitzel. I am a responsible adult, and I won't have street vendors try to win me over with _free _food."

"But–"

Klaus didn't want to listen to another word the man said and tossed the entire wienerschnitzel to the ground. The vendor gaped at him. Klaus walked on.

He chanced upon the local farmer's market a few blocks later, spotting his assistant sorting haphazardly through the produce. He greeted her warmly and offered to buy her whatever she desired, the effects of his relaxing walk kicking in. She looked at him, flustered at his kindness, but declined his offer, instead offering her cellular phone.

"It's Sirenoid, sir," she choked out timidly.

What was wrong with everyone today? "Clearly, it isn't," Klaus retorted, enraged. "This is a cell phone, not Sirenoid. I will not tolerate my employees insulting my intelligence."

He took the phone and shattered it.

Klaus grew weary of so many incompetent people and wandered into the park. A smile graced his refined features as he laid eyes upon a jovial birthday party. He drew closer, skirting around the edges of the premises, watching children laugh and play. One particular child–a blonde little boy–stopped and gave him a toothy smile.

"Whose birthday is it today, little one?" Klaus asked kindly.

"No one's!" the boy shouted happily. "We're celebrating because it's no one's birthday. I'll get you a piece of cake."

The boy walked away, leaving Klaus behind, dazed and confused.

"Here you go, Mister." The boy handed him the cake. "Happy Unbirthday!"

Bewildered by this obvious discrepancy, Klaus took the sugary confection and quickly disposed of it...on the ground.

The boy gazed at him in fear.

"Do you expect me to eat this when it's no one's birthday? What's wrong with you people?" Klaus started toward the cake, throwing it down, too, and screaming, "Happy Unbirthday to the ground!"

The CEO stormed away, irate. Granted, destroying the cake wasn't the most regal action to take, but it did get the job done. He began to worry about the joy he was experiencing from throwing things to the ground. It couldn't have been normal. Everywhere he looked, he saw items to be thrown. There were vases inside display cases, twenty-five cent candy machines, and people–all so throw-able.

Klaus shook his head of such thoughts, attributing his bad mood to his morning at the office. Yes, that's right, today would end and his urge would be gone. What he now needed was a calm atmosphere with dignified taste, and his feet led him to the finest restaurant in town.

Skillful live violinists delivered a soothing melody to his ear as soon as he entered. The Victorian decor met his approving eye, and the staff treated him with the utmost courtesy while they seated and presented a menu to him. He perused the entrees in earnest, only becoming distracted when a familiar voice sounded across the room.

"...so two peanuts walk into a bar...One is a salted! Get it?" Dan laughed out.

His two friends groaned, each mentally debating how to get him to shut up the fastest while pondering their steaks.

Klaus' blood boiled, seeing the perpetrators of the crime that had ruined his day and quite possibly, his life. Without thinking about it, he marched across the restaurant, eyes trained on the three boys. He hands reacted in a flash, gripping the underside of the table and lifting it with all his strength until it lay toppled upside down on the floor.

"Security!" Dan called, backing away from a fuming Klaus.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Klaus lunged at him, his attack stopping midway when a pair of burly arms surrounded him. "Let me go! This is an outrage! Do you know who I am?"

"Better luck next time, Klaus," Dan chided. "Except don't assault us in _our _restaurant."

His green eyes widened, his feet scraping across the floor as the tall security guard dragged him. "_Your _restaurant?" he gasped, freeing himself from his grasp with an "Unhand me, sir."

Ace nodded smugly, Shun stood around looking bored, and Dan, well, he tried to salvage his steak from the floor.

"This isn't over!"

If only he'd been wrong.

-X-

At his wit's end, Klaus Von Hertzon burst through the office doors, steaming. Employee's dove out of his way, holding stacks of paper over their heads to use as protection against the wrath of the boss. They didn't really care to know why he was upset; self-preservation definitely ranked higher on their lists than caring for their capricious employer.

Sirenoid spotted him immediately and recognized the telltale signs of his distress-the frizzy hair, the rumpled suit, the predatory gleam in his eyes. She hadn't worried too much when he'd refused to speak with her on the phone, but seeing his condition worsened from this morning made her rethink any earlier thoughts. Sirenoid needed to communicate some crucial information to him, though she hesitated upon seeing him fire five employees in a row.

"Master," she began calmly as he passed her desk. "Master Klaus, I believe there is something you should know."

"You mean besides the fact that I've been cheated out of my idea and publicly humiliated more times than is necessary in a lifetime, Sirenoid?" he growled–or as he would say, purred savagely.

She would not be intimidated. "Master, unfortunately, Mr. Snuggles has hired the shrewdest lawyers money can buy, and–"

"What?" he interrupted quietly. "Mr. Snuggles has sued against me." It wasn't a question, as he'd wanted it to be.

"Yes, Master."

Klaus let out a strangled cry and numbly choked out, "I'll be in my office."

-X-

He walked along a dirt path, the tip of his Italian leather shoes scuffed and his mind delirious. The path was framed by rustic trees that seemed to be looming closer and closer to him with every step down the dark tunnel. The bite of the wind struck his face, and he instinctively cradled his cheek.

He continued to walk for what seemed like an eternity, the road perpetually unwinding before him.

Then...a voice.

"Drink me..." it cooed softly with the lilt of a child's voice.

Klaus spun around, startled, stopping.

He heard it again, closer, but this time did not pause in his stride.

Suddenly, the sound was closing in on his from all directions.

_Drink me, drink me, drink me. _

Klaus burst into a sprint, pumping his arms to get away faster. He exerted himself to his limit, but he wasn't moving anywhere.

"Drink me."

He slowed to a stop, turning mechanically to face the voice...and finding a lone bottle on the path behind him. He wandered closer, crouching down. It looked like a regular old bottle, only filled with some suspicious-looking liquid. He placed a finger on it, and the bottle turned on its own, watery wide-eyes facing him.

Wait, a minute, bottles didn't have eyes!

"Drink me," it demanded forcefully, the sound seemingly erupting from the bottle.

Klaus stumbled backwards, landing on his rear.

"Drink me," it repeated, advancing.

He scrambled away from it, jumping to his feet and dashing away. The bottle didn't come after him, but multiplied until hundreds, if not thousands, were chasing him.

"Drink me, drink me," they chanted in unison.

Klaus ran, but they had him cornered. There was no way out.

"Drink me. Drink me."

Then the sea of abominations parted, and Klaus sensed an escape.

A final, giant bottle approached him.

"Drink me!" it roared while Klaus screamed.

-X-

Three devious boys watched from the shadows as Klaus twitched occasionally. His head was cradled between his arms on his desk, papers scattered across the floor. He snored quietly, and Dan giggled at the sight of the aristocrat being less than perfect.

"Drink me," Dan cooed again, stifling more laughter in his sleeve.

Ace smirked, also enjoying the scene. "Why didn't we think of this sooner?"

Shun raised an eyebrow. "So you did all this because...?"

"We were just teaching him a lesson, Shun," Dan explained. "Klaus needs to understand that life isn't always a Wonderland."

"So you practically ruined his company for that?"

Dan snorted. "Hardly. I don't know how long it'll take Klaus to figure out that we didn't really sell the plans."

"Hey," Ace chimed in. "Do you still think Klaus will let us in after this?"

"Sure, why not?"

The Vestal shrugged. "I was just wondering whether Sirenoid just called security on us or on Klaus."

"Probably us...oh."

* * *

_**Again, the readers' opinions are greatly appreciated, so make sure to tell me what you think, what I could have done better, in a review!**_

_**Cocoacharm15**_


End file.
